Dogcart Deferred Earnings Comic Strips - Page 2

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79 Results for Dogcart Deferred Earnings

View 11 - 20 results for dogcart deferred earnings comic strips. Discover the best "Dogcart Deferred Earnings" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #weekly, #wally status report, #process pride, #impact on earnings, #pride in results, #high level, #morale, #pride in process

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conferance table. Wally says, "It is my pleasure to present the weekly 'Wally status report'." Wally says, "This week I developed what I call 'process pride'." Wally says, "It all started when I realized that I have no impact on earnings." Wally says, "Obviously I can't take pride in the RESULTS of my work." Dilbert says, "Obviously." Wally says, "But I need pride. Otherwise, how could Imantain my high level of morale?" Wally says, "So I learned to take pride in my processes instead of my results." Wally says, "Everything I do is still pointless. But I am very proud of the way I do it." The Boss says, "Is that all you did this week?" Wally says, "Hey, I'm only one person."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #greedy boss, #huge growth earnings, #mean boss, #miss growth, #poised, #stock options vest, #unrelated move, #leave company

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Our CEO says we are poised for huge growth in earnings." The Boss continues, "In an unrelated move, he announced that he will leave the company before any of his stock options vest." Wally and Dilbert look horrified and their ties fly up in front of their faces as The Boss says, "The poor guy will miss all of our growth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #boost earnings, #mass exodus, #doorway jam

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Dilbert and Wally sit on either side of the Boss at the conference table. The Boss says, "We're cutting back on advertising to increase earnings." Dilbert quickly turns and says, "Um...Excuse me. I'll be right back." Wally says, "Me too." There are several people piled in the doorway, stuck. A man announces into a walkie-talkie, "We got another mass exodus doorway jam."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #investment banker, #deal sheet, #company, #defending, #trillion doallr, #asbestos, #lawsuit, #no earnings, #stock analysts, #business

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Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "Here's a deal sheet for a company you should buy." Dogbert continues, "They're defending against a trillion-dollar asbestos lawsuit, and they have no earnings." Dogbert continues, "But that's okay because stock analysts don't dig that far into the minutiae."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #huge scam, #upcoming merger, #accretive earnings, #stcockholders

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Asok says to The Boss and Alice, "I worry that our upcoming merger is nothing but a huge scam on our stockholders." The Boss opens his mouth very wide and yells, "Buwaha-hahaha!!" The Boss says, "I mean.. It's accretive to earnings."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cowardice, #terrorists, #international terrorist, #cancel order, #big hit earnings, #decimate value, #stock options, #transfer, #poor safety record

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Dilbert: I discovered that the customer for our fleet sale of commercial drones is an international terrorist. Now we have to cancel the order, take a big hit to earnings, and decimate the value of your stock options in the company. CEO: Or... I could transfer you to a department that has a poor safety record and hope for the best.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #executives, #beat earnings, #analysts expected, #make mistakes, #bad estinates, #mislead

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CEO: You should be proud that we beat the earnings that analysts expected. Dilbert: Why should we be proud that analysts are bad at making estimates? CEO: Those bad estimated don't happen on their own. I had to mislead them. Asok: I'm proud of you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #disc jockeys, #protest movements, #threatening boycott, #dogcart insulted, #organic substance

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Dilbert: Customers are threatening to boycott us if we continue to advertise on Dogbert's radio show. Dogbert insulted every man, woman, child and organic substance in the known universe. He called the moon something that rhymes with totem. Boss: Modem?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #helen, #man, #resume, #requested, #formula, #calculate, #ratio, #height, #baldness, #Men, #different, #nights

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Man: I hope you'll date me now, Helen. I brought my resume as you requested. Helen: There's a little formula I use to calculate the ratio of your earnings potential to your height and baldness... Hmm... You pass. Of course, I'll still date other men too. Man: On different nights?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #device, #dogcart scam, #end of world, #evil be gone, #evil money, #give money, #scammer, #take money

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Dogbert: The end of the world is coming in the year 2000. Therefore, you should give me your money before its too late. Dogbert: It is written that money is evil, I'll keep your money in Dogberts special "evil be gone" device. And its completely deductible. ...from your savings. CUSTOMER: So Im actually making money!