Dress For The Job You Want Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dress For The Job You Want

View 11 - 20 results for dress for the job you want comic strips. Discover the best "Dress For The Job You Want" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #phil, #prince insufficient light, #spreme ruler, #hideous fates sins, #high pay, #eternal poverty, #useful, #appreciated, #current job, #telecommuting

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil the Ruler of Heck watches Dilbert and thinks, "My next victim." Phil says, "I am Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and Supreme Ruler of Heck!!" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Hi, Phil." Phil says, "You must choose one of these two hideous fates to pay for your sins." Phil continues, "You can choose eternal high pay, but all of your work will be burned in front of you at the end of each day . . ." Phil continues, "Or you can choose eternal poverty, but your work will be useful and appreciated." Dilbert says, "WOW! They're BOTH better than my current job!" Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, you might want to get in on this!" Wally confesses, "I watch tv when I'm supposed to be telecommuting." Phil thinks, "I hate the nineties." Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Do me first!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #job interview, #name, #tubby, #human resources dept, #sent resume, #entrepreneur, #toby, #made up name, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Catbert the Director of Human Resources." Catbert stands on the table in front of a prospective applicant. He says, "So, you want a job here, Tubby?" The man replies, "It's 'Toby.'" Catbert looks at the sheet of paper in his hand and asks, "Did you just correct me?" The man says, "Um..." Catbert turns and shouts at the man, "I alone will determine your name!!" Catbert looks at him and asks, "Now, what is your name?" The man answers, "Tubby." Catbert reads the paper and says, "Tubby, is it true that you're so dumb that you..." Catbert holds out the paper and continues, "...Sent your resume to the human resources department?" The man looks frightened as Catbert continues, "Do you think that's what this department does? Let me show you what I do." The man is seen walking down the hall, his clothes torn into shreds and looking beaten up. The man says, "I think I just became an entrepreneur."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #crossgrain on accounting, #system, #lose respect, #job security, #whole job, #accounts erceivable, #not expense, #no complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #server job, #abusive customer, #kindness, #tablecloth

View Transcript

Transcript

The manager is slapping a drunk. Dilbert says to her, "Hi. I came to apply for a server job." The manager replies, "Okay. Tell me how you would handle an abusive drunken customer like this guy." Dilbert replies, "Um.. with kindness?" The manager says, "You might want to shield yourself with a tablecloth."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #body double, #despots, #most successful, #double, #take hit, #personal dress code, #dress intern

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "You need a body double. They're popular with your most successful despots." Dogbert continues, "If someone tries to ambush you into making a decision, the double will take the hit." The Boss approaches Asok with a pointy-haired hat in his hands and says, "I want you to think of this as your own personal dress code."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2003's comic on:


Tags #job not stimulating, #togers, #toger meat, #analogy, #zebra

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says to The Boss, "My job is not stimulating my mind." Asok continues, "If you want to have tigers, you must feed them tiger meat." Asok adds, "But that is only an analogy. Please do not make me eat a zebra."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #great managing, #engaged, #disengaged, #praise and recognition, #encourage developement, #important job, #opinions count, #prodcutivity, #drop dead, #learn and grow

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Here's a list of the twelve elements of great managing. If you do everything on that list, it will make me feel what experts call "engaged." If you fail to do your job properly, I will feel all disengaged and do poor work. This would be a convenient time to give me some praise and recognition. You might also want to encourage my development and tell me my job is important. Remember to care about me as a person and tell me my opinions count. If you do all of that, plus seven more things on the list, you might get some productivity out of me. Boss: Leave my office and drop dead. Wally: Will that help me learn and grow?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #rat problem, #reporting, #rat bait, #unwashed, #job satisfaction, #calling names, #being mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: We're having a problem with the rats in the office. " You might want to upgrade your level of hygiene from "rat bait" to "unwashed."" "I think I just felt my first tingle of job satisfaction."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #workplace happiness, #direct deposit, #mental distance, #effort, #paycheck, #no clear goal, #doing good work, #job satisafaction, #stress related problems, #highly demotivated, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #candidate, #punched boss, #whats needed, #boss hater

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Alice, I want you to interview a job candidate. Let me know what you think. Alice: Why did you leave your last job? candidate: I punched my boss. Alice: He's exactly what we need."