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View 11 - 20 results for drive boss nuts comic strips. Discover the best "Drive Boss Nuts" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss in hospital, #no brain function, #still talking, #double length meetings, #accomplish twice as much

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The boss lies in a hospital bed. The boss is hooked up to complicated looking machine. A docter stands next to the machine. The doctor says, "The accident left him with no brain function whatsoever." The doctor says, "But that hasn't stopped him from talking." Dilbert says, "I'll drive him back to work." Dilbert drives the Boss. The Boss says, "If I double the length of our staff meetings, we'll accomplish twice as much!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new laptops, #osbournes, #sloppy drive, #operating, #internet time

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Dilbert, The Boss and Wally sit in a meeting. The Boss reads from his notes. The Boss says, "All new computers will be osbornes." The Boss says, "They come with something called a floppy drive." Dilbert says to Wally, "Somethimg tells me we're not operating on 'Internet Time.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss office, #coup, #parked, #reserved spot, #scheduled meetings

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The boss is holding a briefcase and he says to Carol, who is at her computer: "Carol, you parked in my reserved space." Carol hands a sheet of paper to the boss ans says: "I scheduled you to drive to meetings all day." The boss answers: "Oh." Carol is at her cubicle and thinks: "Tomorrow I move my stuff into his office and the coup is complete."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drive carefully, #drive into a tree, #policy, #using cell phones, #poisonous snakes, #sarcasm, #joking, #obvious

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The Boss and Asok the Intern are sitting at a table. The Boss informs Asok: "The new policy says you must drive carefully while using cell phones." Asok says: "This policy is just in time. I had planned to drive into a tree." Asok leans toward the Boss and asks: "Is there anything there about handling poisonous snakes?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #investigative reporter, #garbage dumps, #wasteful car, #tires, #park, #boss, #wasteful

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Investigative Reporter. A reporter and cameraman follow The Boss out of the building. The reporter says, "Explain why your company dumps garbage in the park." The Boss climbs into his giant car. The reporter continues, "And why do you drive such a huge, wasteful vehicle?" The Boss approaches Asok and says, "I need you to scrape something off my tires and take it to the park."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drive by management, #whats hi sanme, #out run, #answer no questions, #need for clarification, #we're dead

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The Boss: It's time for some drive-by-management. Don't forget to do the thing for what hs name or else we're dead. must ...outrun cries for.... clarification.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dress cassually, #drive innovation, #flex hours, #frustration, #optimism, #start up culture, #valued work

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Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pointy haired boss, #problem, #project, #upgrade denied, #stupid resolution, #extra disc space, #conscioussness

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"When our pointy-haired boss asks you about your project, what should you say?" "I would inform him about any problems." "Big mistake. If he hears that you have a problem, he might try to help." "How can help be bad?" "Asok, how's your project?" "Good, but I need to upgrade my disk drive to store all of the image data." "Forget that. Just e-mail peices of the database to employees who have extra disc space." "Please pull on this until I lose consciousness."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #old computer, #give to school, #hard drive, #tax accounting, #night mare, #school playground, #old refrigerator, #better idea

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Dilbert is standing in the boss's office. Dilbert says, "How do I get rid of my old computer?" The boss says, "Why don't you give it to a school?" Dilbert says, "Well, it would take me a week to find someone to take it." Dilbert continues, "The hard drive is broken and it has no software." Dilbert says, "And it would cause a tax accounting nightmare." The boss says, "Maybe you could leave it on the school playground at night." The boss continues, "That's what I did with my old refrigerator." Dilbert is standing by the playground swings, putting his computer on top of a refrigerator. Dilbert, standing by Dogbert, says, "What I hate most is that I didn't have a better idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentors, #drive steak through heart, #business

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Boss: Asok, thanks to my mentoring, someday you will be just like me. Asok: Gaaa!!! Someone please drive a stake through my heart! Hurry! Boss: Apparently I don't know what mentoring is.