Duty Comic Strips - Page 2

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21 Results for Duty

View 11 - 20 results for duty comic strips. Discover the best "Duty" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #judicial proceedings, #lawyer, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hypothetical, #hypocracy, #jury duty, #standing, #less, #people, #executioner, #client

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The defense lawyer says, "Okay, let's say that, hypothetically, my client did kill those people . . ." His client is holding an ax and wearing an executioner's hat. The attorney says to Dilbert and the other members of the jury, "Chances are that it was nobody you know." The lawyer continues, "And the next time you're standing in a long line, ask yourself: 'Am I better off now that there are less people?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ham, #cured, #butcher, #gift, #share

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Dogbert asks a butcher, "Do you have cured ham?" The butcher says, "Right here." Dogbert says, "Boy, if that's cured, what does a sick one look like?!" Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and says, "I've always felt a duty to share my gift of mirth with others."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Entertainment, #thanks, #babysit, #doggie bert, #bret, #impressionable, #years, #innocent, #adult, #nonsense, #parents, #space, #aliens, #eat, #slaughter, #house, #kindergarten, #change, #probably

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A man and woman say to Dogbert, "Thanks for agreeing to baby-sit, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No sweat." A baby says, "Doggie-Bert!" Dogbert says, "Sit down, Bret." Dogbert and the infant sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "You're in your most innocent and impressionable years." Dogbert continues, "As an adult, it is my duty to fill your sponge-like brain with incredible nonsense for my own entertainment." Dogbert continues, "Your parents are really space aliens." The baby looks frightened. Dogbert continues, "They're just fattening you up so they can eat you!" Dogbert continues, "The slaughterhouse is a place they call kindergarten!!" The father hands Dogbert his money and says, "Thanks, Dogbert. Did you change him?" Dogbert replies, "Probably."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #little stubborn guy, #dumb guy, #take over, #fulfill

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BIG: Id like you to meet the little stubborn dumb guy, Dumb: : If for any reason I cannot fulfill my duty to thwart your project, The LSDG will take over for me. Dumb: No, I won't . Big: Yes you will!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #away from job, #blah blah, #cell phones, #jurors, #jury duty, #jury room, #read book, #talking

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Dilbert: AAHH, One week away from my job. Jury room Dilbert: I'll have hours of quiet time to read my new book, woman: There's a guy here with a book.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #jruy duty, #what excuse, #happy to serve, #civic responsibility, #insanity, #good one

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Dilbert is sitting in the jury room with two other people. The man sitting next to him asks, "What excuse are you planning to use?" Dilbert says to the man, "I'm happy to serve. It's my civic responsibility." The man says to Dilbert, "Insanity; good one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #hole in head, #jurors, #jury box, #jury selction, #medical condition, #questioning, #serving, #judge, #legal

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JURY SELECTION JUDGE: JUROR eight, do you have any medical problems that would prevent you from serving? NO, I need jury duty. Judge: Would iy be fair to say you odnt know what you need? MAN HOLE IN HEAD: Why does everyone ask me that>

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #at party, #camera advice, #engineer, #physical, #wally dressed as engineer, #engineering

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Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #product, #idea, #violence, #hitting, #war, #weapon

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The boss says, "Our product is so unsafe that the military wants to use it as a weapon." The boss says, "Now the only way to satisfy our fiduciary duty to stockholders is to foment war to boost our sales." Elbonian says, "Hey, why'd you punch a hole in my hat?!!" Alice says, "That's a little thing we call marketing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2006's comic on:


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"I'm thinking about buying a more fuel efficient car." "Why?" "It's my patriotic duty to reduce this country's dependency on foreign sources of oil." "Why?" "Because then the countries that hate us will have less money to fund terrorists." "Actually, developing countries would buy the oil you saved, thus adequately funding those same terrorists." "At least I wouldn't be funding them myself." "Oil is a fungible commodity. The capitalist system virtually guarantees that you'll end up buying the lowest cost oil from sources unknown to you." "Well, maybe, but I want my car to make a statement." "And the statement would be 'Hey, everyone, I don't understand what fungible means!'"