E Mail Comic Strips - Page 2
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305 Results for E Mail
View 11 - 20 results for e-mail comic strips. Discover the best "E Mail" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday November 26,
2004
Tags cat, Wally, black mail, cat nip, told truth, came clean, animals
Transcript
Alice: "Can you tell me who complained about my off-color e-mail joke? Catbert: "No, no, no." "All conversations with human resources are strictly confidential." "Wally, wally, wally, wally, wally, wally, wally..."
Monday March 28,
2011
Tags dual core processors, brain, disconcerting, email answer
Transcript
Asok says, "To answer your question faster, I'll need to use the two halves of my brain like dual core processors." Asok says, "I'm only warning you because it might be disconcerting to watch." Woman says, "How bad could it be?" Asok says, "Wah-ah-geeee!" Woman says, "Maybe you can e-mail me your answer."
Sunday March 06,
2011
Tags honesty, managers & supervisors, proactive, send email, bad time management, creating illuson, sarcasm, crazy boss, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "You need to be more proactive." Dilbert says, "I can only appear to be proactive if you stop telling me to do things I've already planned." The Boss says, "How am I supposed to know what you plan to do every minute?" Dilbert says, "I could send you an e-mail every time I have a thought." The Boss says, "I don't have time for that!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your bad time management is creating the illusion that I'm not proactive." Dilbert says, "I'll take the liberty of signing you up for a time management class." The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So...I should not be proactive?" The Boss says, "Just do what I want before I know I want it." Dilbert says, "I hope the next thing you want is sarcasm."
Tuesday June 08,
1993
Tags Dogbert, broadcast, message, computer, geeks, declare, leader, empire, virtiual, electronic, venod, exploiting, leadership, tradition
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types on the computer, "This is Dogbert, with a broadcast e-mail message to all computer geeks . . ." A man reads Dogbert's message on his computer. The message says, "I declare myself to be your leader, and I name my empire the 'Virtual Electronic Nation of Dogbert,' Venod for short." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and says, "I assume you'll be exploiting the simple people of Venod for personal gain." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, it's a leadership tradition."
Thursday November 04,
1993
Tags Dilbert, ratbert, rat, punishment, exercise
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a magazine. Ratbert stands on the hassock with a leash around his neck and says, "It's time to walk the rat!" Dilbert rolls up the magazine and says, "You're confusing yourself with a dog. The proper way to exercise a rat is to strike it repeatedly with a rolled-up magazine." The caption says, "Should Ratbert be spared? Send your vote by e-mail to: scottadams@aol.com." Dilbert holds the rolled-up magazine over Ratbert's head.
Friday November 05,
1993
Tags email, Dogbert, Dilbert, computer, ratbert, punishment, rat, writers
Transcript
Dogbert stands on the desk in front of the computer. Dogbert says, "We're being deluged by e-mail!" Dogbert says, "The male writers heavily favor whacking Ratbert with the magazine." Dilbert stands over Ratbert holding a rolled-up magazine. Dogbert continues, "And we have a number of helpful suggestions involving power tools." Dilbert replies, "Boys will be boys."
Monday November 29,
1993
Tags bob, Dilbert, ratbert, email, computer, Dogbert, wedgie
Transcript
Dogbert stands on the desk chair. He says, "The e-mail votes have been tabulated. The will of the people is that Ratbert shall be spared from getting whacked with a magazine." Dilbert says to Ratbert, "I guess there's nothing funny about random cruelty." Bob the Dinosaur gives Dilbert a wedgie and says, "Right! Cruelty is only funny if administered in a proper social context."
Tuesday January 31,
1995
Tags ignorance, no limits, idiotic, opinions, personal hygiene, cyberspace, flame boy, step inside
Transcript
Dilbert types, "Your ignorance seems to have no limit. Your opinions are idiotic." Dilbert continues typing, "Your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired. Your family is ugly." He enters, "Send e-mail." Peering over the cubicle wall, Wally says to Dilbert, "You're mighty brave in cyberspace, Flame-boy." Dilbert replies, "Step inside."
Wednesday February 01,
1995
Tags staus report, light, email, flame war, technical surperiority, simian ancestry, obligation, victims of hormones
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Both of them look like they have been burned in a fire. Dilbert says, "My status report is a bit light this week because I'm having an e-mail flame war with Wally." Dilbert continues angrily, "Wally refuses to admit my technical superiority or his simian ancestry. It is my obligation to set him straight." Wally shakes his fist at Dilbert and shouts, "NEVER!!" Dilbert says, "I'm thinking this somehow elevates my rank in the herd and improves my mating possibilities." Wally says, "We're victims of hormones."
Wednesday February 15,
1995
Tags same meail, last week, best of wally, cube sabbaticle, first notice
Transcript
Dilbert peers over the cubicle wall and says, "Wally, you just sent me the same e-mail you sent last week." Wally says, "I'm rerunning the 'Best of Wally' while I'm on in-cube sabbatical." Dilbert asks, "How long is your sabbatical?" Wally replies, "Six months so far, and you're the first to notice."


