Efficiency Experts Comic Strips - Page 2

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92 Results for Efficiency Experts

View 11 - 20 results for efficiency experts comic strips. Discover the best "Efficiency Experts" comics from Dilbert.com.

Experts And Non Experts

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Experts And Non Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, experts, architecture

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dilbert: the experts say our architecture is not scalable. the boss: bah! the experts are biased. i want to hear what the non-experts say. dilbert: they say we should listen to the experts. the boss: okay, how about the people who are neither experts not non-experts?

Talk To The Experts

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Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answer, bribe, experts, face mask, faster, managers & supervisors, Opinion, plan, technology

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boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

Disagree With Experts

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Disagree With Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, disagree, respect, experts, happy, criticism, enjoy, attention

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tina: every time i hear you disagreeing with the experts, i lose a little respect for you. dilbert: are you saying you once had respect for me? tina crying and yelling: stop being happy about my criticisms! dilbert: why can't i enjoy the attention?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gloating, rich people, leadership experts, brag about weath, comforatble

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Boss: Leadership experts say I should never brag about my wealth. Let's just say I'm "comfortable." So very, very comfortable. Alice: Yeah, this isn't working.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting for boss, prodcutivity, efficiency, queen alice

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally peers into Dilbert's cubicle and yells, "Alice is sitting in for the boss!" Dilbert stands up, raises both hands in the air and shouts, "Productivity at last!!!" Wally yells, "Efficiency! Yes!!" Inside the cubicle, Wally says, "As long as she doesn't get an attitude . . ." Alice stands outside the cubicle with a crown on her head and a wand in her hand. Someone is bowing in front of her.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags added billions, create system, employee of the week, hire experts, product process, stock value, new internet product

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Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "We've identified the people who will create the system to develop a product process." Dilbert points at a newspaper and continues, "While we were doing that, our competitor created a new Internet product that added a billion dollars to their stock value." Dilbert says, "Experts attribute the company's success to their 'employee of the week' program." The Boss says, "Quick! Hire those experts!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr diretor, company's goal, double efficiency, downsize, marketing, good at math, business

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Catbert says, "The company's goal is to double the efficiency of all employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: If we double our efficiency, won't you downsize half of us?" Alice and Wally sit on either side of him. Catbert says, "Don't talk to anyone in marketing. They aren't so good at math."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the ceo visit, presentation, requires two people, impressive improvements, efficiency

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Headline: The CEO Visit. The Boss says to the CEO, "And now Dilbert and Alice will give you a presentation." The CEO responds, "I'm curious to hear why that requires two people." Dilbert and Alice simultaneously point to the same slide. Alice says, "Our department made impressive improvements in..." Dilbert finishes her sentence, "Efficiency!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags removed all chairs, more efficient meetings, efficiency, what looked like

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The Boss: "I removed all the chairs to encourage more efficient meetings." "The first item on the agenda is... Ow, ow! Legs so tired... Meeting adjourned!!!" Wally: "I always wondered what efficiency looked like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dont worry, high crime area, experts assure you, gange members, exhautsed, beat up

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CAtbert: Don't worry that the company is moving to a high-crime area. "My experts assure me that you'll have a 90% chance of survival every time you walk outside." "That estimate depends on the assumption that the gang members become exhausted from beating you up."