Eliminate Redundencies Comic Strips - Page 2

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42 Results for Eliminate Redundencies

View 11 - 20 results for eliminate redundencies comic strips. Discover the best "Eliminate Redundencies" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consults, #eliminate phone support, #via internet, #discourage people, #ominous list, #personal questions

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Caption: "Dogbert Consults" Sogbert stands on the boss's desk. DOgbert says, "Eliminate phone support for your product. Provide help only via the internet." Dogbert's tail wags and he says, "Then discourage people by making them answer an ominous list of personal questions." Man looks terrified in front of his computer the computer screen reads, "1. What is your home address? 2. When do you shower?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #cat bert, #evil, #eliminate traces, #individuality, #computer wallpaper, #helium

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "In order to eliminate all traces of individuality..." Dilbert reads, "All computer wallpaper must be the same." Dilbert thinks, "What next?" Catbert thinks, "In theory, with helium, the employees would all sound alike."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1999's comic on:


Tags #reduce budget, #project is vital, #eliminate, #funny part

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The Boss says to Alice, who is seated in her cubicle, "Every department was asked how it could reduce its budget by ten percent." The Boss says, "Your project is vital to the future of the company, so I cleverly offered to eliminate it, knowing they couldn't accept." The Boss says, "Now this is the funny part..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #eliminate vacation days, #increase sick days, #make themselves sick, #evil, #hr

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Headline: Asok works in H.R. Catbert says to Asok, "If we eliminate vacation days and increase sick days..." Catbert continues, "Would the employees fall for our trap and make themselves sick to get days off?" Asok exclaims, "What?!!" Catbert says, "You're in H.R. now. It's okay to be evil." Asok replies, "Evil, right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #latest assignment, #impossible, #slow speed of light, #perfect art, #human cloing, #eliminate garvity, #stop the sun, #reanimate dead, #impossible tasks, #change the world, #nature

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Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #disgruntled employees, #open door policy, #rush hour, #safely dropped, #traffic, #trap door, #eliminate whiners

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Catbert points to a drawing and says to The Boss, "The trap door will work with your 'open door policy' to eliminate whiners." Catbert continues, "Disgruntled employees will be safely dropped into rush hour traffic." The Boss is lying face down in a snowy street. Cars are passing him by. The Boss thinks, "I need to remember that's there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2003's comic on:


Tags #grow revenue, #new products, #calling in strategy, #eliminate waste, #miss you

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our strategy is to grow revenue from new products." Dilbert turns to The Boss and asks, "How obvious does an idea need to be before we'll stop calling it a strategy?" The Boss says, "And we plan to eliminate waste." Dilbert responds, "We'll miss you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2007's comic on:


Tags #staff meeting, #posting, #six sigma methods, #eliminate gap, #waste of time

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The Boss: Carol, schedule a staff meeting. Carol: What's the topic?" The Boss: I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives. Carol: I'll just say 'Waste of time'.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #eliminate dept, #what do we do, #explain things, #morons

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The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #brain parasite, #eliminate redundancy, #executives, #lying, #mergers & acquisitions, #more choices

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Boss: Our CEO has promised that the merger will cause no layoffs. Dilbert: Is that because he's too incompetent to eliminate obvious redundancies or is he just lying? Boss: Can you give me more choices? Dilbert: A brain parasite is making him say stupid stuff?