Embryo In Jar Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

22 Results for Embryo In Jar

View 11 - 20 results for embryo in jar comic strips. Discover the best "Embryo In Jar" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ruin career, #upstart embryo, #replaces me, #volunteers, #give constructive criticism, #human resources, #don't like attitude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stares at the embryo on the desk. Wally thinks, "I'd better ruin the career of this upstart embry before he replaces me." Catbert arrives at the cubicle and says, "I need volunteers to give constructive criticism to human resources." Catbert walks down the hall holding the embryo. Catbert says, "I don't like your attitude."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scan, #document, #ask, #favor, #important, #scanner malfunction, #hope, #empty candy jar, #hopeless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Can you scan this document for me?" Carol says, "Is it important?" Carol says, "If it isn't important, you shouldn't bother me. If it is, the scanner will malfunction." Dilbert says, "Is there no room for hope?" Carol says, "I keep mine in this empty candy jar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ask the intern, #died, #moon shuttle, #sample of dna, #jar, #reincarnate to clone, #jar missing, #needed for candy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prototype, #killed asok, #clone, #reincarnate, #snack jar, #snicker, #feel nuts

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your prototype killed Asok. That means it is your job to clone him and hope he reincarnates into the clone." "Carol used his DNA container for a snack jar, so be careful." "Why do I feel nuts?" "You're part snickers bar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crimes, #revenge, #difficult co workers, #jerks, #jar of polonium, #deal with difficulty, #office, #Politics, #registered, #dog, #stool, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to deal with difficult co-workers. Jerks will always be jerks. Your only hope is to kill them in ways that are untraceable. Boss: We need to talk. Dogbert: Each of you got a jar of polonium when you registered.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #happy face, #peanut butter, #saint ted, #ratbert, #booked, #new york, #saint theresa

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert stand outdoors. Dogbert shows Ratbert a can of peanut butter and says, "It's a miracle, Ratbert. The image of Saint Ted appeared in my jar of peanut butter!" Ratbert asks, "Saint Ted? Who ever heard of Saint Ted? Couldn't you get Saint Theresa?" Dogbert replies, "She was booked to a can of varnish in Upstate New York." Ratbert says, "Saint Ted looks like a 'happy face.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #humilate, #bob, #dinosaur, #humming

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the counter wearing an apron. He reads a recipe and thinks, "Add one jar of spaghetti sauce . . ." Dilbert struggles with the lid on the can. Dilbert lies on the counter trying to open the jar. Dogbert says, "Let me try to humiliate you by opening it easily." Dogbert struggles with the lid and thinks, "This definitely would have worked in 'Family Circus.'" Dogbert walks down the hall and says, "I'll see if Bob can open it." Dogbert hands the jar to Bob the Dinosaur. Bob says, "No problem for a mighty dinosaur." Bob smashes the lid against his forehead. Dilbert scrapes the sauce off Bob's forehead and into the bowl. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Will you STOP humming 'My Way.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #expect employer, #don't expect raises, #trained pension, #sourball, #marbles, #cellophane

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk. Dogbert says, "You can't expect your employer to take care of you forever, Wally." Dogbert continues, "Don't expect raises, don't expect to be trained and don't expect a pension." Wally reaches for a jar on the desk and says, "That's depressing. I need a sourball." Dogbert says, "Those are marbles wrapped in cellophane."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advanced material, #designing at work, #good batch, #pyrophoric mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Liz sit at a table looking at various containers. Liz says, "These are some of the advanced materials I'm designing at work. That jar holds a pyrophoric substance." Dilbert picks it up and says, "Let's see." The jar explodes in his face. Dilbert looks charred and small clouds of smoke rise from his head. He says, "Yep, that's a good batch." Liz says, "A person from a smarter gender might have said 'What does "pyrophoric" mean?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design product brochure, #criminal fraud, #marketing, #not worng, #conscience, #marketing epople, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to work with our marketing people to design a product brochure." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "Remember, what we do here might seem like criminal fraud but it's not. It's marketing!" Dilbert says, "Okay, as long as it's not wrong . . ." The man says, "Here's a jar to keep your conscience in. I'll put it in the closet with mine."