Emergency Flashlight Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

41 Results for Emergency Flashlight

View 11 - 20 results for emergency flashlight comic strips. Discover the best "Emergency Flashlight" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dropped everything, #career plan development, #artificial emergency, #ping pong ball, #fax

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands a document to the Boss, who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "As you requested, I dropped everything and wrote my career development plan." The Boss reads from the plan, "I plan to bounce from one artificial emergency to another, like a ping-pong ball in a clothes dryer, until one day I resign." Dilbert says, "Here I'm using humor to make a point . . ." The Boss yells, "Fax this to HR now!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1996's comic on:


Tags #decoy suitcase, #airline distracted, #lose decoy, #sneak, #emergency carry on, #eat their food

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the dresser watching Dilbert pack. Dilbert closes a suitcase and tells Dogbert, "This suitcase is the decoy." Dilbert explains, "While the airline is distracted trying to lose the decoy, I'll sneak aboard with this emergency carry-on bag." Dogbert asks, "What if they try to make you eat their food?" Dogbert replies, "Fake vomit. They'll think I already ate."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new cucbicle, #self suffcient, #work space, #life suport, #various tubes, #watch to body, #vital signs, #monitor, #central location, #human resources dept, #emergency hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

"Here's your new cubicle: the Cuborg 2000." "It's a self-sufficient workspace and life support system." "These tubes attach to various parts of your body so you never have to leave." "Various parts?" "Let's just say you don't want to get these two tubes mixed up." "We'll monitor your vital signs from a central location." "The company nurse?" "No; the human resources department, in case we have to do some emergency hiring." "Is it upgradeable?" "Yeah, the Cuborg 3000 is expected to have air holes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert teaches math, #cut staff, #bonus worth, #expense requiremnets, #calculated, #budget, #multiply by one, #doctor, #flashlight, #projections come from, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert teaches business math." Dogbert points to a diagram of an equation. A picture of Wally, Dilbert and Alice illustrates the equation, "Grunts equals zero." The caption says, "#1. Any job that can be done by two people . . ." The Boss stands behind two people. The caption continues, ". . . Can be done by one person for half the cost." The Boss yanks one of the workers out of his chair. The caption says, "#2. A bonus today is worth more than . . ." The Boss holds a large bag of money. The caption continues, ". . . The whole company tomorrow." An office building has a closed sign on it. The caption says, "#3. Your expense requirements for December can be calculated . . ." The Boss sits at his desk writing on a piece of paper. The caption continues, ". . . By taking what's left in the budget and multiplying by one." A delivery person asks the Boss, "Giraffe goes where?" Dogbert says, "Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where sales projections come from."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #use my raise, #move from home, #handicapped stall, #storage facility, #house warming, #gift, #flashlight, #hesitate, #call alice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and Asok are eating lunch. Asok says, "I plan to use my raise to move my home in the handicapped stall to a storage facility." Asok continues, "If you are trying to think of a housewarming gift, I wouldn't say no to a flashlight." Wally says, "If you need help moving, don't hesitate to call Alice." Asok replies, "You are too kind."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #emergency meeting, #five minutes, #warm and cozy, #cubicle paradise, #sound of not caring

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "There's an emergency strategy meeting in five minutes." Dilbert responds, "I was all warm and cozy in my cubicle paradise. Why must you ruin it?" Carol puts her hand up to her ear and asks, "Can you hear the sound of me not caring?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #revenue estimates, #research, #too late, #higher revenue, #stress, #flashlight, #eyes, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pokes his head in to Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Double the revenue estimates and make sure the research supports it." Dilbert responds, "But.. but... it's too late! The research is done, and it won't support higher revenue!" Dilbert is sitting on a doctor's table, shivering. The doctor flashes a light on Dilbert's face and says, "Your stress is from a combination of drive-by- management and a flashlight in your eyes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #conincidences, #ell phones, #ring, #emergency, #crisis, #meetings, #people leave

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is about to start a meeting. Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice's cell phones all ring simultaneously. Wally says into his phone, "Emergency, you say?" Dilbert asks into his phone, "Crisis?" The Boss is alone in the conference room. He thinks, "I'm losing my faith in coincidences."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #emergency, #lostphone, #company id, #keys, #critical folder, #self generated crisi, #dead battery, #small brown purse

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Emergency! I can't find my phone and I"m late for a customer meeting. Dilbert: Maybe it's with your company I.D. badge that you had to drive all the way home for this morning. Alice: It might be with your keys that you lost after lunch. Dilbert: Maybe it's under that critical folder that you couldn't find before your last meeting. Alice: Maybe it's wherever you created your last self-generated crisis. Coworker: I just remembered I put my phone in my purse because the battery is dead. Has anyone seen a small, brown purse?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #late, #engineer code, #lightsaber, #kill, #annoy, #flashlight, #yell, #close eyes, #mouth open, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"