Employment Vandalism Comic Strips - Page 2
47 Results for Employment Vandalism
View 11 - 20 results for employment vandalism comic strips. Discover the best "Employment Vandalism" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 19, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: Hi. I'm an engineer. That means I have excellent employment potential and I can fix things around the house. Woman: How are your social skills? Dilbert: Wow. Look who wants the moon.
Share February 04, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "The government's new unemployment statistics are out." The Boss says, "It's still a bad time to look for a job." Dilbert says, "Yeah. I got that."
Share December 05, 1994's comic on:
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss says, "We've studied the Japanese model and decided to copy their best practices." Dilbert says, "Long term investing?" The Boss holds up a microphone and yells, "Karaoke!" The Boss stands on the table and sings, "Shaft! Can you dig it?" Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "Thank God we don't have lifetime employment."
Share April 29, 1997's comic on:
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Good news about your compensation plan . . ." Dilbert says, "I hate good news about my compensation plan." The Boss says, "Twenty percent of your pay will now be in the form of stock options instead of cash!" The Boss says, "To get your stock options, simply sign this updated employment agreement." Dilbert asks, "Why does good news feel like a mugging?"
Share April 30, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the couch and Dilbert sits on the floor looking at a contract. Dilbert says, "My company won't give me my stock options unless I sign this new employment agreement." Dogbert reaches for the document and says, "Here." Dogbert says, "Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada." Dilbert asks, "What do you think?" Dogbert replies, "I'm not reading it. I just like to look at documents and go yada, yada, yada."
Share August 05, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Wally, I'm sending you to a conference for the world's top engineers. With any luck, one of our competitors will try to poach you. That will save me the trouble of firing you. You'll be going with five other people I want to get rid of. I took the liberty of updating your resume. If this goes as planned, you'll destroy one of our competitors from within. Like a hideous disease. Make me proud! Wally: It was the first time I ever felt useful. I didn't like it.
Share August 11, 2004's comic on:
The boss: "Send the salary spreadsheet to Human Resources." "Don't let anyone else see it. That sort of information could sow the seeds of discontent." "We'd have massive disloyalty, fights, vandalism, maybe even riots."
Share January 13, 2006's comic on:
Ted: I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. Carol: Fill out your time report in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing. Attempted self-strangulation is code 39. If you succeed, it's 40.
Share April 25, 2007's comic on:
"This is the posterior of a healthy, unemployed woman." "Prolonged exposure to employment will create more of a box shape." "I'd offer you a lollipop, but it would only make things worse."
Share January 11, 2013's comic on:
Catbert: Studies say employees prefer having a good boss over getting a raise. So instead of giving raises, pretend to be less dysfunctional. It's cheaper. Bwahahahaha!!! Boss: You're a creepy little dude.