End State Vision Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

261 Results for End State Vision

View 11 - 20 results for end state vision comic strips. Discover the best "End State Vision" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bob, #nostradogbert, #world, #end, #range, #business, #gross, #prophet, #margin

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, who is wearing a turban, says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Nostradogbert predicts that the world will end within a hundred billion years." Bob says, "That's a big range." Dogbert says, "We in the business call it the 'Gross Prophet Margin.'" Bob says, "Oh yeah, I've heard of that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #choke, #death, #end, #date, #early, #work, #trick, #jillion, #times

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman grabs her throat and says, "Mphf! Aack! Cough! Hmp! Gurgle!" As the woman slumps onto the table, Dilbert says, "If you're pretending to choke to death to end our date early, it won't work." The woman sits up and crosses her arms. Dilbert says, "Like I haven't seen that trick a jillion times."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #electric, #cattle prod, #employee, #productivity, #zap, #rubber end

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss approaches him thinking, "Let's see if my idea of using an electric cattle prod will boost employee productivity." The Boss gives himself an electric shock. The Boss's clothes are burned and smoke rises from his body. The Boss thinks, "Mental note: hold rubber end."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #airlines, #negotiate, #end, #civil, #war, #impress, #rebel, #call, #fox, #dead

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert takes Elbonia Airlines. He's been asked to negotiate an end to the Elbonian civil war." An Elbonian man places Dilbert and his suitcase in a giant slingshot. Dilbert flies through the air over Elbonia. Dilbert thinks, "I can succeed if I find some way to impress the rebel leader they call 'The Fox.'" Dilbert lands on an Elbonian man. Another Elbonian yells, "The Fox is dead!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #computer, #chip, #market, #machine, #date, #curve, #technology, #racing, #state, #edge, #museums

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert says, "I just read that a new computer chip is on the market. Your machine is out of date." Dogbert continues, "You're behind the curve. Technology is racing ahead without you. You're no longer state-of-the-art or leading edge." Dogbert continues, "Sometimes people like you can get jobs in museums." Dilbert yells, "I bought this thing yesterday!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #report, #sentence, #micro-robotics, #dead-end, #technology, #opposite, #confusing, #senseless, #scenario, #win-win

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Good report . . . But add a sentence that says micro-robotics is a dead-end technology." Dilbert replies, "But that's the exact opposite of my point! If I add that, the whole report would be a confusing and senseless waste of time!" The Boss says, "That's okay. We just won't let anybody else see it." Dilbert asks, "Is this a win-win scenario?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #world will end, #year 2000, #compelling logic, #news

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I've become a doomsday prophet so I can scare gullible people. Im telling everyone the world will end in year 2000. My compelling logic is that 2000 is a big round number. Dogbert: Its BIIIG and ROOUND Dilbert: Stop it!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #device, #dogcart scam, #end of world, #evil be gone, #evil money, #give money, #scammer, #take money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The end of the world is coming in the year 2000. Therefore, you should give me your money before its too late. Dogbert: It is written that money is evil, I'll keep your money in Dogberts special "evil be gone" device. And its completely deductible. ...from your savings. CUSTOMER: So Im actually making money!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senior executive, #bad deciosn, #end careers, #challenging, #decison, #great idea, #mixed signals, #pull neckties, #hurts

View Transcript

Transcript

"If we know our senior executive is making a bad decision, shouldn't we tell her?" "Hmm, yes. Let's end our careers by challenging a decision that won't change. That's a great idea." "I'm getting mixed signals here." "And let's pull our neckties until it hurts!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #future trends, #guess, #more valid, #published, #share vision, #people are dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm writing a book of my guesses about future trends. If it gets published then my guesses will seem more valid than other peoples. I'll charge huge fees to share my 'vision" with audiences. Dilbert: Why would people pay huge fees for guesses? Dogbert: Trend number one is that people aren't getting any smarter.