Engineer Skills Comic Strips - Page 2
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
362 Results for Engineer Skills
View 11 - 20 results for engineer skills comic strips. Discover the best "Engineer Skills" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 01,
2011
Tags #therapy session, #cloud, #having meeting, #tech talk, #couch, #shrink, #avatar, #engineer, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: I was holding a virtual meeting using the cloud and... Therapist: you're already dead and you don't know it. Dilbert: um...no im an engineer. Therapist: and yet your should had a meeting in a cloud. Interesting. Dilbert: my people call it an avatar.
Saturday April 02,
2011
Tags #complaining, #communication skills, #poor skills, #random numbers, #spreadsheet, #clarify, #listening skills
Transcript
Woman says, "This isn't what I wanted." Dilbert says, "I know." Dilbert says, "Your communication skill are so poor that I gave up trying to understand what you wanted and instead put some random numbers on a spreadsheet." Woman says, "Why didn't you just ask me to clarify?!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your listening skills need work too."
Sunday May 01,
2011
Tags #boats, #business ethics, #new boat, #engineers, #skills, #boss's boat, #picture, #nautical interests
Transcript
Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.
Tuesday January 11,
2011
Tags #engineers, #honesty, #viruses, #honest opinions, #causing problems, #medical records, #engineer, #classified as disease, #vaccination, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I can't stop voicing my honest opinions. It's causing problems at work." Doctor says, "According to your medical records, you're an engineer. We classify that as a disease now." Man says, "Gaaa!!! You haven't had your pon farr vaccination." Dilbert says, "Is it warm in here?"
Sunday June 26,
2011
Tags #internet & world wide web, #monsters, #turned feral, #engineers, #social life, #social skills, #few weeks, #wolfman, #howls at inetrnet
Transcript
Alice: Steer clear of Darryl. He turned feral. Asok: Feral? Dilbert: That's what happens when engineers don't get invited to meetings. Alice: Darryl's only social life was meetings. Dilbert: He didn't get to use his social skills for a few weeks, and apparently he lost them. Asok: Is it like he turned into a wolfman? Dilbert: Yes, except he's better at math. And he howls at the Internet, not the moon. Asok: Can we watch? Man: How-ooo can you blog that?
Monday July 04,
2011
Tags #interviews, #ignorant and bored, #hired, #awesome tech skills, #management genius
Transcript
Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.
Thursday July 14,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #fraternization, #friendship, #new engineer, #ginat dork, #star wars chess set, #email, #set up date, #romantic preference, #relationships
Transcript
Carol: Have you met the new engineer? He's a gigantic dork. You two would get along great. I'll email him to set up a date with you. Is tomorrow good? Dilbert: Being a dork is not a romantic preference. Carol: He says he'll bring his "Star Wars" chess set.
Saturday September 10,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #thinking, #creative person, #bad at math, #analytical skills, #permanent
Transcript
Coworker: I like to think of myself as a creative person. Alice: And by that you mean you're bad at math and you don't have any analytical skills. Dilbert: Is it permanent?
Saturday September 17,
2011
Tags #commerce, #competition (psychology), #hate new product, #customers, #fake revenue projections, #engineer, #stronger company, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: If consumers hate our new product, we will probably go out of business. If they love our new product, a stronger company will enter the space and drive us out of business. CEO: Tell the engineer to stop making me sad. Boss: I have some fake revenue projections to cheer you up.
Thursday October 13,
2011
Tags #despair, #meetings, #six variables, #4 imbeciles, #brilliant engineer, #complexity algorithm, #rational deciosn, #brilliant career
Transcript
Dilbert: Okay, this next decision involves six variables, four imbeciles, and one brilliant engineer. According to the Dogbert complexity algorithm, it is impossible to make a rational decision in this situation. All in favor of giving up? Boss: I found out I'm a brilliant engineer.