Escrow Closes Comic Strips - Page 2

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15 Results for Escrow Closes

View 11 - 15 results for escrow closes comic strips. Discover the best "Escrow Closes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #worked all night, #vital, #meeting, #excellent work, #alice, #backup material, #performance review cycle, #naked body threat to boss, #cheap suit, #fling, #business, #science

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Alice says to the Boss, "Here's the analysis you asked for . . . I worked all night." Alice continues, "But you said this was vital for your meeting today so I know it was worth the effort." The Boss sits at his desk reading the report. He says, "This is excellent work, Alice." Alice closes her eyes and thinks, "A rare compliment; it was all worthwhile." As Alice walks away the Boss says, "I'll use it as backup material." Alice says angrily, "Backup?!! Nobody looks at backup material!" Alice says, "I'm going to grab your pointy hair, yank you out of that cheap suit and fling your naked body down the hall." The Boss lies in the hall with no clothes on. Wally says, "She's always irritable the week before her performance review cycle." Dilbert says, "Her distance improved this year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #making personal calls, #stealing, #fist of death, #eighty cents, #talk to family, #bill for overtime, #being competetive, #office supplies

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Alice sits at her desk. The Boss enters and says, "According to this phone bill, you've been making personal calls." The Boss continues, "That's like stealing from the company, Alice." Alice clenches her teeth, holds her fist and thinks, "Must . . . Control . . . Fist . . . Of . . . Death . . ." Alice looks at the telephone bill and says, "I only spent eighty cents to tell my family I was working late." Alice says, "Here's a dollar. The extra twenty cents is for the personal thought that I'm about to have on company time." Alice closes her eyes and imagines the Boss tied up with rope. She pictures handing him a stick of dynamite. Alice says, "And here's my bill for $40,000 in unpaid overtime that the company stole from me." The Boss replies, "That's not stealing; that's being competitive." Alice says, "I think I'll be competitive with a few bushels of office supplies later today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #fix interface, #million dollars, #close eyes, #wish hard, #saving

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "We can fix our incomprehensible user interface for a million dollars." Dilbert continues, "Or we can close our eyes and wish real hard that our users won't care." The Boss closes his eyes and wishes real hard. Wally turns to Alice and says, "He's saving a million dollars. What did you do today?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2006's comic on:


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"And that's how I made a billion dollars in shady real estate deals." "The moral of the story is that crime doesn't pay..." "Directly; it goes through escrow." "Dogbert, don't ruin the rat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #last three times, #thought stolen, #parked it, #forgot, #magic powers, #car stolen, #parking lot, #car will appear

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The Boss says to Carol, "Carol call the police. My car has been stolen." Carol responds, "Is it like the last three times that you thought it had been stolen?" Carol continues, "And later you realized you just forgot where you parked it?" The Boss replies, "No. This time is different. My car is totally gone." Carol puts her hands up in the air and says, "Watch me use my magic powers to make your car reappear in the parking lot." Carol closes her eyes and exclaims, "Presto auto reappearo!!!" Carol says to The Boss, "After all the other cars leave the parking lot, your car will appear." The Boss finds his car in the empty parking lot. He thinks, "Freaky."