Etiquette Comic Strips - Page 2
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25 Results for Etiquette
View 11 - 20 results for etiquette comic strips. Discover the best "Etiquette" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 07,
2014
Tags assumption, business ethics, buy prodcuts, corporate strategy, corporation, customer centric, etiquette & ethics, evil, executives, ideas, marketing campaign, monopoly, needs, needs of customers, psychological manipulation
Transcript
CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday February 07,
2015
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work
Tags etiquette & ethics, marketing, robot, robotics, slave, technology, emotionally manipulate, marketing leagl, enslave humans, business
Transcript
Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?
Monday February 09,
2015
How Is Work
Tags etiquette & ethics, inventions, morality, robot, robots, emotionally manipulate, slaves, machines
Transcript
Woman: How's work? Dilbert: I taught robots how to emotionally manipulate people and thus guaranteed that homo sapeins will become slaves to machines. Woman: I don't want to think about that. Dilbert: That's why it works.
Tuesday February 10,
2015
Elon Musk Fears Ai
Tags artificial intelligence, etiquette & ethics, misanthropy, technology, elon musk, artificial intelligemce, humankind
Transcript
Asok: Elon Musk is worried that artificial intelligence will destroy mankind. Coworker: Why would you pay attention to him? What's he ever done? Asok: Stop making root for A.I. Coworker: And what planet is this "Elon" guy from, anyway?
Friday May 01,
2015
Dilbert Offends Coworkers
Tags honesty, honest, truth, polite, politeness, etiquette & ethics
Transcript
Boss: I'm hearing reports that you have been offending your co-workers. Dilbert: By being honest? Boss: Yes. Cut it out. Dilbert: Okay, will do. And you believe me, right?
Monday July 20,
2015
Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone
Tags conversation, distraction, attention, technology, stimulation, frustration, smart phone, cell phone, social, socialization, etiquette & ethics, social skills
Transcript
Tina: I want to go to lunch. Dilbert: I don't see how that can work. Your conversation skills can't compete with the stimulation I can get from my smartphone and my smartwatch. Tina: I would scowl at you if I could get your attention. Dilbert: Ooh!
Friday November 20,
2015
Godwin's Law Is One Jerk
Tags troll, internet, comment, jerk, hitler, wwii, nazi, holocause, joke, social media, etiquette, netiquette, technology
Transcript
Dick: People think there are millions of jerks on the Internet, but really it's just me. On a typical night I might make over seven thousand Hitler analogies. Dilbert: Maybe you should stop. Dick: That's what Poland said.
Sunday January 24,
2016
Tags gestures, etiquette, male, Men, masculinity, social norms
Transcript
Dilbert: I never know the right time to high-five. I feel as if I should automatically know, like a male instinct. For example, when do you initiate a high-five and when do you simply yell "woo-hoo?" Those situations look the same to me. What's my problem? Alice: So many things. But in this specific case, the problem is your total lack of masculinity. Dilbert: High-five?
Sunday May 29,
2016
Tags coworkers, workspace, noise, cubicle, open floorplan, etiquette, fingernails, toenails
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.
Monday March 06,
2017
No Walking Away
Tags human resources, policy, conversation, ideas, management, strategy, politeness, etiquette, business
Transcript
Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.
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