Excellent Advice Comic Strips - Page 2
258 Results for Excellent Advice
View 11 - 20 results for excellent advice comic strips. Discover the best "Excellent Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 22, 2011's comic on:
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I need your legal advice." Lawyer says, "There's a risk that this could cause a chain reaction that results in a future visionary leader not being born." Dilbert says, "It's just a maintenance agreement." Lawyer says, "It's like stabbing Gandhi."
Share October 27, 1994's comic on:
"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We mail our product to people and tell them it's free for one year." "Then we start nailing them with high fees because they'll forget the procedure for returning the product. They're trapped." "So, did you have some ethics advice?" "No. I asked you here so I can return your stupid product."
Share June 30, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss points to a diagram on an overhead projector and says, "We're going to follow the advice of the Dogbert Consulting Company and form 'Battlin' Business Units.'" The Boss continues, "We'll spend most of our time cross-charging and undermining the other BBU's." Wally comments, "A little competition is healthy." The Boss adds, "Whatever you do, DON'T tick off the janitorial BBU."
Share December 23, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "On the advice of my dog, I'm asking for an additional ten million dollars for my project." Dilbert continues, "That will make a more spectacular failure, thus guaranteeing a promotion for me." The Boss replies, "As your boss, I'd get recognition too . . . Okay." Wally asks Dogbert, "Wow! Do you have any advice for me?!" Dogbert replies, "Breath mints."
Share December 25, 1995's comic on:
Wally sits at his desk and tells Dilbert, "I got one of those '900' phone numbers. I make money every time somebody calls for my valuable advice." Wally's telephone rings several times. Dilbert asks, "Do you ever answer it?" Wally replies, "Voice mail . . . Get with the nineties."
Share December 29, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his computer. A message on the screen says, "Your new software is successfully installed. Do you want to send your registration info by modem?" Dilbert says, "Yes." A message says, "The software has found your credit card number and is placing orders for new products it thinks you need . . . Please wait." Dilbert says, "Uh." The message says, "Making room on your hard drive . . ." Dilbert says as he loads a rifle, "I can't tell if it's a virus or just excellent marketing." Dogbert holds the box of ammunition and adds, "Either way . . "
Share February 13, 1996's comic on:
Catbert sits on a monitor and thinks, "I know I should be off tormenting people . . ." Catbert continues thinking, "But I can't pry myself away from this most excellent butt-warming device." Catbert lies face down on the monitor and thinks, "It's probably because of the hype, but I'm thinking this would be even better with 'Windows 95.'"
Share May 08, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. Dogbert says, "I'm going to try my paw at being a career counselor." Dogbert continues, "Insecure people will seek my advice and I'll tell them to be more self-reliant." Dilbert says, "That sounds lazy and unhelpful." Dogbert asks, "Would you want career advice from somebody who has to work hard?"
Share September 09, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Dogbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've hired the 'Dogbert Touchy-Feely Institute' to teach use about teamwork." Dogbert says, "We'll start with an exercise about trust. I want each of you to sign blank checks and give them to me." As they all hand Dogbert checks, Dilbert asks, "What will this teach us about trust?" Dogbert replies, "It will teach you that trust is an excellent quality for other people to have."
Share March 13, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I need your help to negotiate with my boss for more telecommuting days." Dogbert replies, "I'm too logical to be a good negotiator. You need someone who is relentlessly irrational." Dilbert tells Ratbert, "Dogbert says you're an excellent negotiator, Ratbert." Ratbert shouts, "I'm insulted!!"