Expensive Comic Strips - Page 2

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41 Results for Expensive

View 11 - 20 results for expensive comic strips. Discover the best "Expensive" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #least expensive vendor, #requirements, #change mid project, #lowest bid, #fired later, #fired mid project, #outplacement service, #every sale

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Dilbert is meeting with a business associate. The business associate says, "We're the least expensive vendor unless your requirements change mid- project." Dilbert responds, "So... I'll get fired if I don't select the lowest bid, or I'll be fired later when the bills for change orders pour in." Dilbert says, "I prefer to be fired mid-project." The business associate replies, "We offer outplacement service with every sale."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #funding, #continuous harping, #expensive consultant, #analyze budget, #chaos, #complexity, #simulations

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "In response to your continuous harping about not having enough funding.." The Boss is joined by another man. The Boss continues, "I hired an expensive consultant to analyze your budget." The consultant says to Dilbert, "I'll have to run some chaos and complexity simulations, but it looks as if you need more money."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #plant watering service, #less expensive one, #plastic plants

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I fired our plant-watering service and hired a less expensive one." The Boss continues, "That's the sort of leadership that will turn this company around." Wally asks, "Were we doing well?" Dilbert says, "Our plants are plastic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #can't buy happiness, #expensive possessions, #pople envious, #tarde happiness for money, #whacked

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Dogbert: "Bob, remember that money can't buy happiness." Bob: "But it can buy expensive possessions that make other people envious, and that feels just as good." Dogbert: "And you can pay to have people whacked." Bob: "Can I trade my happiness for some money?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #salesman, #questions, #best running shoe, #sneakers are sneakers, #far superior, #expensive ones

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SALE: DIlbert is standing in a shoe store looking around. Alan, a salesman from behind asks, "Do you have any questions?" Dilbert turns and asks, "What's your best running shoe?" The salesman replies, "They're all the same. Sneakers are sneakers." The store manager interrupts, "Alan, may I have a word with you?" Dilbert continues to inspect the shoes as the manager and salesman are conferencing in the back. The salesman returns and says, "The expensive sneakers are far superior." Dilbert replies, "I'll take them!" The salesman thinks, "I feel like I'm clubbing a baby seal." Dilbert is holding up a sneaker and asks, "Will these work with my old socks?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #company policy, #least expensive flight, #17 connecting flights, #elbonain prison, #dressed as a ballerina, #desecrate monument

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"Per company policy, I got you the least expensive flight available." "Your trip will have 17 connecting flights and you're required to spend at least one night 'in an Elbonian prison, dressed as a ballerina.'" "How much would I have to desecrate a national monument to get one night in jail?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #managers & supervisors, #thwarting rivals, #competitions, #expensive engineering solutions, #business

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Dilbert: Have you heard any rumors about what is driving our boss's decisions lately? Alice: He's thwarting a rival within the company by offering only prohibitively expensive engineering solutions. Dilbert: My work has meaning, but it's not the good kind.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #prepare proposal, #prodcuts, #expertise, #figure out, #expensive bidder, #bid low, #essential upgardes, #randomly assigned, #create lies, #proposal, #can't win

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The Boss: "Prepare a proposal for this customer." Dilbert: "Why me?" "You were walking by. I had it in my head." "We can't win this business. We don't have the right products or expertise." The Boss: "Just say we do. We'll figure it out later." Dilbert: "They know we don't. And we'd still be the most expensive bidder." The Boss: "Bid low. We'll make it up with change orders and unexpected essential upgrades." Dilbert: "In other words, I've been randomly assigned to create lies for a proposal we can't win for a service we can't perform." The Boss: "You make competing sound bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #400 per hour, #expensive, #ball rolling, #process using, #recommendations

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The Boss: Mister Dogbert has agreed to consult for $400 per hour. "I know it's expensive but you get what you pay for." "Let's get the ball rolling." "My first question is: what process will you be using to arrive at your recommendations?" Dogbert: "a..." "very...slow one..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #expensive, #japanese management technique, #banishment room, #tolerance for boredom, #business

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Boss: Ted, I don't want to fire you because that would be expensive. So I'm borrowing a Japanese management technique and transferring you to a banishment room until you get so bored you quit. Ted: Looks like someone underestimated my tolerance for boredom.