Experienced Managers Comic Strips - Page 2

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365 Results for Experienced Managers

View 11 - 20 results for experienced managers comic strips. Discover the best "Experienced Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #dead, #targets, #power-hungry, #managers, #career, #shooting

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Boss, I have an idea." The Boss gasps. The Boss jumps up and says, "Quick! Close the blinds! I'll get the door!" The Boss shouts, "You fool! If anybody heard you, we're both dead!" The Boss continues, "Don't you realize that ideas are just targets for other power-hungry managers?!!" The Boss continues, "I've based my entire career on shooting down other people's ideas." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert picks it up and says, "The note says, 'We know you have an idea in there. Give it up.'" Dilbert arrives at home wearing disheveled clothes and bent glasses. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert replies, "Same ol' same ol'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #department newsletter, #experienced tech writer, #intern, #rat, #respectively, #skills, #publisher taken

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Tina the Tech Writer, Asok the Intern and Ratbert sit at a conference table. Tina says, "Let's get one thing straight before we start writing the department newsletter . . ." Tina continues, "I'm an experienced technical writer. You are an intern and a rat, respectively. Therefore I will be the editor." Asok says, "I have no skills whatsoever. Therefore I'll be executive editor." Ratbert asks, "Is 'publisher' taken?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ranking, #rating system, #salary depnds, #bpss, #defends, #managers, #ring a bell

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The Boss's secretary tells Dilbert, "He's with the other managers in an employee ranking and rating session." The secretary continues, "Your salary depends on how well your boss can defend your proposed raise to the other managers." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. A man says to the Boss, "I'm fairly sure this Dilbert guy works for you." The Boss replies, "Doesn't ring a bell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #secret code, #little probelms, #technology, #managers, #agreed, #comapny

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Dilbert and an engineer from the other company sit at a table. Dilbert has a laptop computer open. Dilbert asks, "Tell me the truth. Use the engineer's secret code if you must." Dilbert continues, "Are there any little problems with the technology that my managers agreed to buy from your company?" The other engineer laughs, "Ha Ha Snort Snort Ha Ha Ha!!!" Dilbert types into his laptop and says, "1100111... Good. Go on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1997's comic on:


Tags #contact, #important documents, #listening, #managers, #mandatory classes, #subordinates, #time mangement, #prerequisite class

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Catbert reads from a paper to the Boss. "There are several mandatory classes for managers." Catbert reads, "Avoiding contact with subordinates, Misplacing important documents, The joy of listening to your own voice." Catbert says, "Have you taken the prerequisite class in time management?" The Boss says, "Twice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #input, #fist of death, #corporate culture, #find cause, #caused by managers, #culture problem

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The Boss says, "Alice, I'd like your input on something." Alice thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My intuition is activating the fist of death. Must . . . Control . . ." They sit at a conference table and the Boss says, "Our corporate culture is bad." The Boss continues, "I'm trying to find the cause." Alice replies, "Well, obviously the problem isn't caused by managers who have no self-awareness . . . So what could it be?" Alice continues, "The culture problem must be coming from the other direction. Some EMPLOYEE must be causing this problem!" Alice continues, "I think it's the guy in the mail room. His bad culture is infecting the rest of us." The Boss stands in the mail room. A man says, "If this is about that conference room full of mail, I don't know how it got there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #morale is low, #managers bonuses, #big changes, #surevy, #tenth year, #employee satisfaction

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The boss sits in a meeting with Alice and Dilbert. The boss says, "For the tenth year in a row, the employee satisfaction survey says morale is low. The boss says, "Managers' bonuses are linked to these results. You can be sure we'll make big changes...." The boss says, "...to the survey."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #moral issues, #summarize, #appropriate categoires, #managers incompetent, #arrogant, #micromanaging, #msiogynists, #time of month

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Alice and the boss sit at a table. The boss has a lap top in front of him and says, "Tell me what moral issues you have. I'll summarize them under the appropiate categories." Alice says, "My managers are incompetent, arrogant, micro-managing misogynists." The boss says, "That's one under "time of the month."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #everything went wrong, #project wouldn't succeed, #for managers, #reverse amnesia, #project

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Dilbert pionts at the overhead. Dilbert says, "Everything went wrong in exactly the way I told you it would." Dilbert says, "In the next phase you will experience something I call "reverse amnesia for managers." The boss says, "Wait a minute; I'm the one who told you that the project wouldn't succeed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #back in 10, #managers, #over communicate, #times of uncertainty, #you're fired, #ted fired

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The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.