Search Results for "faking through"
Share December 27, 2000's comic on:
Wally waves his hand in front of The Boss' blankly staring eyes and says to Dilbert, "He might be faking a coma to avoid work." Wally says to Dilbert, "The only way to find out is to punch him repeatedly." Dilbert says, "Maybe we should get Alice." Wally, bunching his fists, asks, "Do you remember if I'm right- or left-handed?"
Share July 21, 2001's comic on:
Alice and Ron are saying their goodbyes next to Ron's car. They're headed towards an embrace. Alice says, "You're a total sociopath, Ron. I like that in a man." As they're hugging, Ron's hand is in Alice's purse. She cries, "Oh yes, rifle through my purse! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Ron heads back to his car. Alice calls after him, "Call me?" Ron responds while counting the money he's just stolen from her, "Sure. But you'd better wait by the phone; I only ring once."
Share September 09, 2003's comic on:
Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"
Share October 08, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."
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Share January 13, 2007's comic on:
Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."
Share March 03, 2013's comic on:
Coworker: Do you mind if I rummage through the trash in the technology lab? Dilbert: Um, okay. Coworker: I'm getting back to my hunter-gatherer roots. Score! These old power cords sell on Ebay for up to $3 apiece. Ha ha! I'm a genius who turns trash into gold! How's that compare to whatever you're doing here. Dilbert: Well, I'm removing valuable features from our product so we can.. gouge our customers with the... upgrade. Coworker: Wow. Your life is a total waste. Dilbert: Not if I sell the power cord.
Share November 10, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Our spam filter has become self-aware" Dilbert says, "It's managing the company by deciding which messages to allow through." The Boss says, "All I'm getting is e-mail about hair growth and... ooh, another lucky guess."
Share August 18, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert, Dogbert, and a woman are walking outside. The woman says, "My pet peeve is when people use their cell phones in restaurants." Dilbert asks, "Why? Do they talk louder than the other people in the restaurant?" The woman responds, "No. It's just rude." Dilbert asks, "Who decides what is rude? Is there a committee?" The woman responds, "It's common sense. You're not supposed to talk into electronic gadgets at a restaurant." Dilbert asks, "What about a drive-through place? Is it okay to order your food using the microphone?" The woman is visibly frustrated. Dogbert answers his cell phone, "Yello." Dogbert says into his cell phone, "Hi, Ratbert... Yeh, he made the mistake of talking... The goodnight kiss is a definite no-go." Dogbert continues into the phone, "No, it's not awkward, but thanks for asking."