Fatal Genetic Problems Comic Strips - Page 2
198 Results for Fatal Genetic Problems
View 11 - 20 results for fatal genetic problems comic strips. Discover the best "Fatal Genetic Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 26, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert stands at a lab table and says, "I'll use Dilbert's genetic lab to make a man with the wisdom of Ghandi and the strength of Wilt Chamberlain." Dogbert thinks, "Or vice versa." A man wearing an Indian pancha says to Dilbert, "Gimme your car keys. I'm gonna find us some babes." Dilbert replies, "Not in MY sheet."
Share January 23, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert, Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates for the woman, "He's telling you how to logically solve all of the emotional problems you seem to have." Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "He reasons that if he can fix your problems he won't have to hear about them anymore." Dilbert says, "Blah blah me." Dogbert translates, "He hopes that the wisdom and compassion he just faked was enough to arouse you. Now he will talk about himself."
Share April 29, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a television news network that only reports happy stories." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "In sports, fifty percent of the teams won their games yesterday and all the players are millionaires - most of whom have no serious drug problems." Dogbert continues, "Our person of the week is Darryl, who, despite his tiny brain, found success through a life of crime." In the corner of the tv screen there is a picture of a man holding a bag of money and hugging a woman in front of a palm tree.
Share June 11, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the desk chair working on the computer. Ratbert asks, "Aren't you afraid that if you continue as leader of the nerds, you will become a nerd yourself?" Dogbert answers, "No, because you can't become a nerd unless you have a genetic predisposition toward it." Dilbert enters the room and says, "Look! I added an emergency backup pocket!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "See? You can't learn that stuff in computer class."
Share August 23, 1994's comic on:
Genetic research Dogbert: Id like you to clone an army of obedient slaves for me, I plan to conquer the world and have dominion over all living things. scientist: I mostly work on giant cucumbers. Dogbert: Mix in some arms and legs and give me two packages of seeds.
Share August 24, 1994's comic on:
"What are you planting?" "I'm growing an army of genetic mutants to do my bidding." "Half man, half giant cucumber, these unthinking brutes will help me conquer the Earth!" "Didn't you try this with sea monkeys last year?" "None of them survived boot camp."
Share November 10, 1995's comic on:
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "How long will it take to fix any problems we find in our beta product?" Dilbert answers, "It is logically impossible to schedule for the unknown." The Boss says, "Try to think as a manager, not as an engineer." Dilbert says, "In that case, we'll fix the problems before we find them."
Share March 11, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk. Dilbert says, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I'm demanding a new wage and benefits package." Dilbert says, "I already give you everything you want . . ." Dilbert continues, "And in return you give me disloyalty, verbal abuse and occasional legal problems." Dogbert says, "Okay, it's a good job, but I'm putting in twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "I think I deserve some sort of special recognition for my good work." An "Employee of the Month" poster with Dogbert's picture hangs on the refrigerator. Dogbert says, "I'm positively giddy." Dilbert says, "You edged out the toaster by two votes."
Share July 16, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert and Liz hold hands. Dilbert says, "In the year that we've dated, Liz, you've often mentioned various problems in your life." Dilbert continues, "I've compiled those problems into a list of requirements and developed a comprehensive set of solutions." Liz reads the list and says angrily, "How thoughtful. I didn't even know I was broken." Dilbert says, "No, no, not broken . . . Just a bit buggy."
Share July 17, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert and Liz sit on a park bench. Liz says, "Um . . . When I've shared my feelings with you, I wasn't hoping you'd design an action plan to solve all of my problems." Dilbert asks, "Why else would you tell me all of your problems . . . Unless it's some demented plot to make yourself feel better at my expense?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "You were right. It was all a demented plot." Dogbert says, "I'm trying to gradually lift your veil of ignorance."