Search Results for "fee is 100%"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #annual fee, #joke, #once a month, #dumb, #annual fee once a month

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The Boss asks a salesman, "How often would you charge us this 'annual fee?'" The salesman replies, "Is that a joke?" Alice responds, "Sadly, no." The salesman says to The Boss, "Once a month." The Boss replies, "Sounds fair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #record loss, #press release, #ceo stepped down, #100 million, #tenure, #shareholders, #bought stock

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Dilbert is working on his computer. Wally is standing behind him. Dilbert says, "Here's the press release about our record loss." Dilbert reads, "The CEO stepped down after earning more than $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure." Dilbert continues reading, "In a message to shareholders, he said, 'Ha ha! Maybe you should have bought stock in me!! Who's your daddy?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2004's comic on:


Tags #risk, #pr plan, #karma, #extra fee, #infinite fabric, #britney spear, #hairstly, #back hair

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"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #100 companies, #additional money, #happy to work, #fortune magazine

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The Boss: "Our corporate goal is to become one of Fortune magazine's top 100 companies to work for!" The boss: "We hope to do it without giving you any additional money, benefits or freedom." Wally: "Then how could you possibly motivate us to say we're happy to work … uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #earned 100 million, #senior management, #unexpended stock options, #incentivized

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CEO: "Tomorrow I'll tell the stockholders that we earned $100 million!" dilbert: "Will you tell them that you gave all of their profits to senior management in the form of unexpensed stock options?" "We had to be incentivized." "So you wouldn't take their furniture, too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #100 million, #dental plan, #not effective, #major corporation

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Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "How would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "You'd be paid $100 million per year just for showing up." "I'd have to see the dental plan." "He's not very effective during the day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #dipping employees, #varnish, #voted to fire you, #100 million, #1 million year

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Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #failed ceo, #worth 100 million, #all reverse, #head in glass, #successful engineer, #kind of funny

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RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #double fees, #management consulting, #outsourcing job, #india, #double fee

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I found a way to double my management consulting fees. "I recommend outsourcing your job to India." "I'll double your fee if you never say that again." WAG!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #office workers, #unpaid intern, #resort fee, #work experience, #zips eyeholes, #leather hood

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Tina: Are you the new upaid intern? Coworker: No, but that's what I aspire to be. I'm merely an intern to another intern. And I pay a resort fee just to use the restroom. Tina: At least you get valuable work experience. Coworker: Until he zips the eyeholes on the leather hood I wear in meetings.