Few Typos Comic Strips - Page 2

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191 Results for Few Typos

View 11 - 20 results for few typos comic strips. Discover the best "Few Typos" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #your cucbicle, #connect network, #stop by, #every few minutes, #the boss, #emplyee

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The boss and the new guy are standing at a cubicle. The Boss says to the new guy: "This will be your cubicle." The new guy is sitting at his desk. The Boss continues: "In six weeks our I.T. people will connect you to the network so you can do your job." The Boss says to the new guy, who looks stunned: "I'll stop by every few minutes to see what you are doing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #boss, #hired you, #response, #ignore chain letters, #few more apllcants, #in basket

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Handing the candidate a sheet of paper the Boss asks, "If I hired you how would you respond to something like this?" The candidate reads the paper and replies, "I usully ignore chain letters." The Boss says, "Let's try another." Carol asks the Boss, "Did you finish your in-basket?" The Boss answers, "No, I'll need a few more applicants?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #delegate tasks, #cash flow estimate, #urgent, #boss must wait, #Dilbert, #assignment request, #wait a few days

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The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and thinks, "It's time to delegate." The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to give me a new cash flow estimate for your project." Dilbert replies, "Okay, fine." The Boss asks, "When will I get it?" Dilbert asks, "When do you need it?" The Boss says, "As soon as possible!" Dilbert says, "Okay." The Boss asks, "When do you think that will be?" Dilbert turns and says, "I usually wait a few days to see if you change your mind." Dilbert continues, "Then I'll give you last year's cash flow as a test to see if you read it." The Boss leaves the cubicle and thinks, "The more experience they get, the worse they are."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #raises, #young employees, #few dollars, #buy small motorcyel, #crack cocaine, #be your mentor, #tickle my own fett, #perfect sat

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The boss sits across from Asok. The boss says, "Asok, I can't give raises to young employees." The boss says, "Because as soon as you get a few dollars in your pocket..." The boss says, "You buy small motorcycles a disappear in the night." The boss says, "I know that's a generalization." The boss says, "Some of you prefer the crack cocaine." Asok is mad. The boss says, "The good new is that I'm willing to be your mentor." Asok gets up and screams. Asok says, "Aaagh! I got double eight hundreds on my SAT!!! For what?!!" The boss walks Asok out. The boss says, "Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood I tickle my own feet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #mismatch, #improve yourself, #my level, #gaining weight, #terrible haircut, #few teeth, #wear stained clothes, #tobacco

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Dilbert and the woman from the gym are walking outside. The woman says, "We're such a mismatch that I doubt you'll ever improve yourself all the way to my level." She continues, "Maybe I could meet you in the middle by gaining thirty pounds and getting a terrible haircut." Dilbert and the woman sit on the bank of the river. She continues, "...Knock out a few teeth, wear stained clothes, chew tobacco..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ceo visit, #discontinue work, #five days, #illusion of productivity, #diversity, #few open slots

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our CEO is visiting next week. Discontinue all real work immediately." The Boss continues, "We have five days to create the illusion of productivity." The Boss points to a clipboard and says, "Here's the diversity sign-up sheet. We still have a few open slots that only require a hat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2003's comic on:


Tags #website, #customer success, #closest things, #complaint letters, #few words, #kick to kiss, #change context, #reviews, #technology

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"Tina, we need some customer success stories for the web site." "The closest things we have are these complaint letters. Just change a few words." "Change 'kick' to 'kiss' and this one is done, albeit disturbingly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stock plunged, #acquire compnay, #few shares, #sit in cubicle

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Dogbert: Your stock just plunged on the news that you're going to acquire another company. Have you noticed that your stock goes down whenever you do anything? I'll buy a few shares if you'll agree to sit motionlessly in your cubicle.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #few upgrades to design, #realize engineer, #graduate of liberal arts, #college, #broad exposure, #modern renaissance, #timing circuit, #moby dick, #charles dickens, #engineering classes, #poor engineers, #work is small, #education

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The Boss hands Alice a piece of paper. He says, "I made a few upgrades to your design, Alice." Alice turns and says, "Do you realize you're not an engineer?" The Boss replies, "I'm better! I'm a well-rounded graduate of a liberal arts college." The Boss continues, "The broad exposure to diverse topics made me what I am today." The Boss says, "A modern renaissance man." Alice says, "You scribbled out my timing circuit and wrote in 'Moby Dick by Charles Dickens.'" The Boss says, "Exactly! I'll bet you didn't learn THAT in your engineering classes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "Poor engineers; there world is so small."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #few changes, #vinery idea, #unimaginative retread, #idea, #discredited, #energizing force, #chat, #manage someone else

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The Boss brings Dilbert a piece of paper. He tells him, "Good idea, Dilbert ... I made a few changes and sent it out." Dilbert reads the paper and screams, "GAAA!" Dilbert says, "You removed the parts that made it a visionary idea!" As the Boss stares at him blankly, Dilbert continues, "Now it's just an unimaginative retread of an idea that has been widely discredited." Dilbert yells in shock, "GAAA! AND IT HAS MY NAME ON IT!" Dilbert collapses back on his desk, saying, "That idea was the energizing force that gave me strength to work." Dilbert yells, "NOW IT'S DEAD! YOU KILLED IT!" Dilbert lies backwards, his head on his desk, gurgling. The Boss says, "I'd love to chat but I have to manage someone else now."