Fewer Groceries Comic Strips - Page 2
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21 Results for Fewer Groceries
View 11 - 20 results for fewer groceries comic strips. Discover the best "Fewer Groceries" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 24,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Political, #city, #county, #state, #federal, #world, #leader, #choice, #price
Transcript
Two aliens say to Dogbert, "Take us to your leader." Dogbert asks, "What kind of leader do you want . . .? Spiritual? Economic? Political? Military?" One alien asks, "Political?" The other replies, "Try it." Dogbert says, "Okay, do you want a city, county, state, federal or world political leader?" One alien says, "World . . . Definitely world." The other says, "Multiple choice is so easy." Dogbert says, "Sorry . . . Trick question. There is no political leader of the world." Dogbert continues, "But over that hill is a grocery store that claims to be the price leader." Dilbert arrives at home wearing burned clothes and carrying a bag of groceries. He tells Dogbert, "The strangest thing happened at the grocery store." Dogbert says, "It's been a strange day."
Monday August 07,
2000
Tags #secretary works harder, #paid less, #many like you, #kill boss eventually, #fewer bosses
Transcript
Carol says to the Boss, "I work harder than you. Why do I get paid a fifth of what you make?" The Boss answers, "That's because there are many people like you but few people like me." Carol replies, "Maybe that's because the people like me eventually kill the people like you."
Wednesday June 30,
2004
Tags #Wally, #hits on hire, #crazy mess, #problems, #asks to move in, #wants dinner
Transcript
wally: "Your life is a rolling disaster, so I figure I should ask you for a date." "I'm hoping that the source of your problem is that you consistently make poor choices." "Maybe you could buy some groceries and make me a nice dinner." "Would you like to move in with me?"
Friday January 07,
2005
Tags #new strategy, #sales stink, #cutting costs, #lose hope, #working great, #higher margins
Transcript
The Boss: "Our new strategy is to sell fewer units at higher margins." Dilbert: "Question: How's that different from saying our sales stink, so we're cutting costs?" The Boss: "I call it a strategy so you won't lose hope." Dilbert: "It's working great."
Sunday December 02,
2012
Tags #cublicle, #hours worked, #judgement, #long term projects, #near term deliverables, #negotiate, #output, #work ethic, #work from home, #holy grail
Transcript
Wally: I would like to be evaluated on my output, not the hours I work. Boss: Okay. That sounds reasonable. Wally: It does? Wow. And I'd also like to work at home where there are fewer distractions so I can be more productive. Boss: Okay. That makes sense. Wally: Really? I mean... great! I'd also like to work on long-term projects that have no near-term deliverables. Holy grail, holy grail, holy grail. Boss: Go back to your cubicle and don't leave until five o'clock. Wally: I was this close to retiring at full pay.
Saturday January 23,
2010
Tags #sitting, #survey, #benefits, #human resources, #business
Transcript
CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES Catbert says, ?According to the employee survey, you want fewer benefits.? Dilbert says, ?I don't remember doing a survey.? Catbert says, ?We polled a random sample.? Dilbert says, ?That seems a bit suspicious.? Catbert says, ?In other findings, you want more verbal abuse.?
Sunday May 28,
2006
Transcript
"Here's a game card that gives you a chance to win groceries." "No thanks. Just take a penny off my bill and we'll call it even." "Um...I can't do that." "Why not? Isn't that game card worth a penny?" "We don't have a procedure." "How's that my problem?" "Look, maybe you could eat something that's worth a penny and I'll look the other way." "How about a grape? I like grapes." "It would have to be one that's been on the floor." "It tasted like victory."
Saturday September 26,
2015
Wally Thinks Twice As Hard
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #motivation, #trick, #deception, #excuse, #lazy, #energy, #con, #health
Transcript
Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.
Friday June 10,
2016
Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife
Tags #Women, #wives, #wife, #work spouse, #game, #scam, #ruse, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: Alice, I am breaking up with you as my work wife. Tina complains less and she sends me on fewer errands, so I choose her. Alice: What's your game? Tina: I'm running a bait-and-switch on him.
Saturday October 07,
2017
Fix It With Marketing
Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.
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