Free Food Comic Strips - Page 2

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356 Results for Free Food

View 11 - 20 results for free food comic strips. Discover the best "Free Food" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #food werewolf, #too long, #no food, #werewolf

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Alice: We'd better wrap up this meeting because Jenny is a food werewolf. Dilbert: What? Alice: When she goes too long without eating, she turns into a werewolf. It might be too late. Werewolf: YA THINK?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #biology, #chemistry, #practical jokers, #biotech field, #giving free flu shots, #stem cells, #science

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Man: I learned the hard way that a lot of people who work in the biotech field are practical jokers. I thought my company was giving free flu shots. Stupid stem cells.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #retail business, #service business, #buy company's prodcut, #pulling teeth, #commissions to salary, #free from tyranny, #customer service, #less than ideal, #no paperwork

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Dilbert: I want to buy your company's product but it's like pulling teeth with you. Man: Ha ha! I switched from commissions to a guaranteed salary. I'm free from the tyranny of customer service! Dilbert: This is less than ideal. Man: No paperwork for me! Woot! Woot!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #charge customers, #free features, #customers, #abusive realtionship, #move in direction, #put up with

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Boss: We've decided to charge customers for features they currently get for free. Dilbert: Um... Have you considered how our customers might react? Boss: Obviously. Wally: I'd like to hear how that reasoning process went. Boss: Fine. Customers love us and they will put up with anything we dish out. Wally: So... It's sort of an abusive relationship? Boss: Not yet, but we're trying to move in that direction.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships

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Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2012's comic on:


Tags #app store, #created app, #dream killer, #first name, #free apps, #madonna, #sell a million, #mother, #Family

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Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. I think I can sell a million of them for $3.99. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free. Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #free software, #run slow, #upgrades, #office, #cubicles, #free

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Dogbert: Want some free software? Boss: What's it do? Dogbert: All it does is beg you for upgrades. And if you upgrade, then it begs you to upgrade again and so on. And it makes all of you other software run slow. Boss: And it's free?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #free app, #stealing personal info, #lodge complaint, #monthly subscription, #package, #history of contaxcts, #sells itself

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Customer: Your free app is stealing my personal information. I'd like to lodge a complaint. Dogbert: Buy our monthly subscription package or I'll send your browser history to your contacts. Dilbert: How's your app going? Dogbert: It practically sells itself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Food, #toaster, #shoot

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Dogbert holds a slingshot and stands near a counter with a toaster on it. Dogbert says, "Pull!" Dogbert shoots a piece of toast as it pops into the air. Dogbert says, "People who don't play with their food are missing a lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #free, #hypnosis, #lessons, #friends, #class

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Dilbert walks down the sidewalk and sees a sign on a building that says, "Free Hypnosis Lessons!" Dilbert thinks, "Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "There's probably some catch, but it's worth a look." Dilbert walks away from the building wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and holding his arms out in front of him. Dilbert says, ". . . A wonderful class . . . I must tell my friends."