Free Medical Advice Comic Strips - Page 2

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567 Results for Free Medical Advice

View 11 - 20 results for free medical advice comic strips. Discover the best "Free Medical Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Free Will Is An Illusion

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Free Will Is An Illusion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #free will, #robot, #robotics, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #cloud connected, #control humans

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Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice

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Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #experience, #stock market, #lost savings, #past perfromance, #further returns, #money

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Asok: I followed your investment advice and lost all of my savings in the stock market. Boss: Did I mention that past performance is not an indication of future returns. Asok: Then... how does "advice" actually work? Boss: It only works for the people that give it.

Advice

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Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ego, #talking, #conversation, #Advice, #insult, #insulting, #suggestion

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Coworker: Do you want some advice? Dilbert: Nope. Advice is just ego and ignorance disguised as helpfulness. Coworker: Then how will I hear myself talk? Dilbert: The supply cabinet has an awesome echo.

Advice Capture Device

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Advice Capture Device - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #trick, #invention, #Advice, #silence, #gullible, #guile

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Dilbert: I invented headphones that will record all of your advice as you dispense it. This way it will be preserved for future generations. Wally: He thinks we can hear him? Dilbert: He also thinks it is recording.

What Advice Is

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What Advice Is - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #gratitude, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #misanthropy, #Advice

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Coworker: Want some advice? Dilbert: Why? Can your ignorance and poor communication skills solve my uncertainty? Coworker: You never know until you try. Dilbert: Sometimes you know!

Dilbert Has Free Will

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Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

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Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Asking Successful People For Advice

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Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition

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Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

Medical Phone Calls

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Medical Phone Calls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #the boss, #doctor, #medical, #phone call, #boils, #conversation

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The Boss: Hello, Doctor. Alice: Ugh. Can you please not have medical conversations where I can hear them? The Boss: Relax. It's only some projectile boils and their milky payload. Alice: I hate you.

No One Is Taking Advice

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No One Is Taking Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #confidence, #employees, #jobs, #office workers, #youth

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Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.

Helpful Advice

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Helpful Advice   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #technology, #Advice, #personal, #life, #quality, #work

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co-worker: can i give you some helpful advice? dilbert: judging by the quality of your life, i'd say you probably can't. co-worker: leave my personal life out of it. dilbert: okay, let's talk about the putrid quality of your work.