Free Medical Advice Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

555 Results for Free Medical Advice

View 11 - 20 results for free medical advice comic strips. Discover the best "Free Medical Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice

Thank you for voting.
Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #experience, #stock market, #lost savings, #past perfromance, #further returns, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I followed your investment advice and lost all of my savings in the stock market. Boss: Did I mention that past performance is not an indication of future returns. Asok: Then... how does "advice" actually work? Boss: It only works for the people that give it.

Advice

Thank you for voting.
Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ego, #talking, #conversation, #Advice, #insult, #insulting, #suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Do you want some advice? Dilbert: Nope. Advice is just ego and ignorance disguised as helpfulness. Coworker: Then how will I hear myself talk? Dilbert: The supply cabinet has an awesome echo.

Advice Capture Device

Thank you for voting.
Advice Capture Device - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deception, #trick, #invention, #Advice, #silence, #gullible, #guile

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented headphones that will record all of your advice as you dispense it. This way it will be preserved for future generations. Wally: He thinks we can hear him? Dilbert: He also thinks it is recording.

What Advice Is

Thank you for voting.
What Advice Is - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #help, #gratitude, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #misanthropy, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Want some advice? Dilbert: Why? Can your ignorance and poor communication skills solve my uncertainty? Coworker: You never know until you try. Dilbert: Sometimes you know!

Dilbert Has Free Will

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Asking Successful People For Advice

Thank you for voting.
Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

Medical Phone Calls

Thank you for voting.
Medical Phone Calls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #alice, #the boss, #doctor, #medical, #phone call, #boils, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Hello, Doctor. Alice: Ugh. Can you please not have medical conversations where I can hear them? The Boss: Relax. It's only some projectile boils and their milky payload. Alice: I hate you.

No One Is Taking Advice

Thank you for voting.
No One Is Taking Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #confidence, #employees, #jobs, #office workers, #youth

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #honesty, #viruses, #honest opinions, #causing problems, #medical records, #engineer, #classified as disease, #vaccination, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I can't stop voicing my honest opinions. It's causing problems at work." Doctor says, "According to your medical records, you're an engineer. We classify that as a disease now." Man says, "Gaaa!!! You haven't had your pon farr vaccination." Dilbert says, "Is it warm in here?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #lawyers & attorneys, #legal advice, #chain reaction, #future visionary leader not being born, #maintenance agreement, #stabbing gandhi

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I need your legal advice." Lawyer says, "There's a risk that this could cause a chain reaction that results in a future visionary leader not being born." Dilbert says, "It's just a maintenance agreement." Lawyer says, "It's like stabbing Gandhi."