Generous Severence Comic Strips - Page 2
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18 Results for Generous Severence
View 11 - 18 results for generous severence comic strips. Discover the best "Generous Severence" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 03,
2001
Tags down sized, laid off, let go, thrilled to be fired, severance package
Transcript
The Boss finishes firing an employee and says, "...Effective immediately." The employee clenches his fists in happiness and yells, "YES!" The employee dances on his chair and yells, "Ah-ooga! Woo-hoo!" The Boss looks surprised. The Boss suggests to Catbert, "We can make the severance packages less generous."
Saturday November 24,
2001
Tags elbonia, dollar of severence, rich, motivated by slogans, elbonians, mud pool, standing in mud pool
Transcript
Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to the Elbonians, "I'm authorized give each of you one dollar of severance pay." The Elbonians exclaim, "We're rich!!!" Dilbert asks, "How much were we paying you?" An Elbonian replies, "Nothing. We were entirely motivated by slogans."
Thursday June 30,
2005
Tags board meeting, dipping employees, varnish, voted to fire you, 100 million, 1 million year
Transcript
Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."
Monday November 18,
2013
Tags cruelty, negotiating, flexible, loser, good sport, good loser
Transcript
Alice: Thanks for being flexible in these negotiations. You're a good sport. And by good sport, I mean good loser. ANd by good loser, I mean loser. Man: Some people call it generous.
Thursday November 20,
2014
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package
Tags avarice, compensation, executives, golden parachute, greed, money, wages
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.
Sunday April 12,
2015
Tags leadership, praise, admiration, anger, compliments
Transcript
Alice: What do you want now? Dilbert: Experts say leaders should surround themselves with people they admire and be generous with praise. Alice, I admire your hard work and intellect. Alice: Stop it! This is creepy! Dilbert: I admire your focus and your determination. Alice: Gaaa!!! Stop admiring me! My skin is crawling! Dilbert: I admire your honesty! Alice: Blech! Wally: Do you feel more like a leader now? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that people hate me.
Sunday September 25,
2016
Tags mentor, mentorship, competition, honesty, truth
Transcript
Dilbert: I need some mentoring. Boss: This is awkward. On one hand, helping you would make me appear wise and generous. On the other hand, it would make you a more credible threat to take my job. I see you as more of an adversary than a subordinate. That's why I withhold vital information that you need to do your job. I've already said too much. Wally: Did you learn anything? Dilbert: Yes, unfortunately.
Sunday July 07,
2019
Layoff Package
Tags business, fire, office, office workers, buyout
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.
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