Get Rid Of Hospitals Comic Strips - Page 2

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47 Results for Get Rid Of Hospitals

View 11 - 20 results for get rid of hospitals comic strips. Discover the best "Get Rid Of Hospitals" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies

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Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #neans, #scrabble, #n

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing Scrabble. Dogbert arranges his letters and says, "That spells 'neans.' Five points for me." Dilbert says, "'Neans' is NOT a word, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "I know, but I need to get rid of some n's." Dilbert says, "The n's don't justify the 'neans.'" Dogbert says, "I just wanted to hear you say that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #headache, #trick, #doctor, #pharmacist, #bottle, #pharmacy

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Dilbert walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have something for a headache?" The pharmacist hands Dilbert a bottle and says, "I'm pretty sure this will do the trick." Dilbert says, "Thanks." The pharmacist thinks, "I wonder if he meant something to GET RID of a headache. Nah . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #witchcrat, #handy, #annoying, #luv, #frog, #fly, #dinner, #date, #love, #Women

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a restaurant table eating dinner. Dilbert asks, "So . . . Uh . . . Why did you decide to take up witchcraft?" The woman replies, "It comes in handy." The woman points to a fly circling the table and says, "For example, suppose I want to get rid of this annoying fly here." The woman turns Dilbert into a frog and says, "Now be a luv . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #company, #headquarters, #plan, #employees, #offer, #deceptively, #retire, #Wally, #alice, #calculate, #cosine

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At company headquarters, someone asks, "Does anybody have a plan for getting rid of the employees?" Another person answers, "Well, they're bad at math; we could offer deceptively small sums of money to people who retire." Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "Hey, this could be good." Wally says, "It's been a long time since I had to calculate the cosine of anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #organ donor, #reorganizations, #unwanted employees, #what job

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Wally: Sometimes I think these constant reorganizations are just excuses for getting rid of unwanted employees. Wally: what job did you end up with? Dilbert: Organ donor Wally: My shoulder is acting up. Do I talk to you or is there a form to fill out? Dilbert: I don't think thats an "Organ"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #downsize, #improve service

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The Boss: Our two goals this year are to downsize and to improve customer service. Dilbert: question: how can you improve service if you're getting rid f service people? The Boss: who do you think is screwing up the customer service? duh...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert show, #gettung givernment back, #buy liquor, #buy cigarettes, #buy firearms, #drive thru, #gets rid of people

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Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "'Corn starch' . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Stores sell it, but who buys it?" Dogbert thinks, "Who irons corn anyway?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1996's comic on:


Tags #troublesome customers, #service costs, #eliminated

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The Boss, Dogbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss points at Dogbert who is growling and says, "I've asked Dogbert to get rid of our most troublesome customers." Dogbert says, "Ten percent of your customers account for ninety percent of your service costs. They must be eliminated." Alice asks, "Is that the same group of customers who actually USE our product?" Dogbert replies, "Plus the ones who were injured unpacking it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #hit market window, #ride market research, #technical testing, #overhead, #like a bird, #hit window

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Alice, the Boss and Dilbert stand at a conference table looking at a document. The Boss says, "We'll have to eliminate a few steps in order to hit the market window." The Boss continues, "I think we can get rid of market research and technical testing. They're basically 'overhead.'" The Boss writes on the chart and says, "Gone! Now we'll hit the window!" Dilbert says, ". . . Like a bird."