Giant Condescending Facebook Comic Strips - Page 2

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100 Results for Giant Condescending Facebook

View 11 - 20 results for giant condescending facebook comic strips. Discover the best "Giant Condescending Facebook" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animal behavior, #giant, #moth, #fought, #modest, #bee, #jumpsuit, #wearing, #hypothetical, #situations

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Who would win if a giant moth fought a giant but modest bee in an all-wool jumpsuit?" Dilbert says, "Wait . . . Who's wearing the jumpsuit -- the giant moth or the giant bee?" Dogbert replies, "The bee." Dilbert asks, "Is this just hypothetical?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #testing, #growth, #formula, #lab, #giant, #miffed, #sarcasm, #witty, #rat

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Ratbert sits on the hassock. Ratbert says, "I'm testing a growth formula at the lab." Dilbert replies, "I'm so happy. I've often thought that the only thing better than a rat in the house is a GIANT rat in the house." Ratbert says, "Yesterday I would have been miffed at your sarcasm. But that wouldn't be 'big' of me." Dilbert says, "Better yet, a giant, WITTY rat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #genetic research, #clone, #obedient slaves, #conquer, #world dominion, #living things, #work on giant cucumbers, #arms and legs

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Genetic research Dogbert: Id like you to clone an army of obedient slaves for me, I plan to conquer the world and have dominion over all living things. scientist: I mostly work on giant cucumbers. Dogbert: Mix in some arms and legs and give me two packages of seeds.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommunters, #eat anytime, #wild animals, #tranquilizer darts, #flatbed, #giant shoehorn

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A fat Alice looks in the refrigerator and thinks, "Telecommuters can eat any time they want, just like wild animals." Alice lies on the couch and thinks, "There's only one way they'll ever get me back in the cubicle." The Boss looks at a chart and says, "Here's the plan. You'll need tranquilizer darts, a flatbed truck, and giant shoehorn." Asok says, "No harpoon?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tina tech writer, #derogatory, #condescending email, #stomach ache, #flee country

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Caption: "Tina the tech writer" Tina types at her computer and thinks, "My derogatory and condescending e-mail will set things right" Tina clicks a key and thinks, "Send!" Tina looks sick, places her hand on her stomach and thinks, "Everytime I send e-mail, I get a stomachache and an urge to flee the country."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #being a manager, #less condescending, #wrong, #performance evaluation, #laughter, #Catbert, #boss

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The boss is sitting in his office and Catbert is sitting on the boss's desk. Catbert says to the boss:"Being a manager means never having to be less condescending just because you're wrong." Both Catbert and the boss laugh out loud: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha" Carol is sitting at her computer and Dilbert is standing behind her holding a folder. Dilbert says to Carol: "Did he finish my performance evaluation?" Carol answers: "I heard him working on it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judging people, #meet new guy, #training him, #giant amoeba

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The boss: dilbert , meet the new guy. Dilbert: You hired a giant amoeba? The Boss: You can't go around judging people by their looks. The Boss: Would you mind... Dilbert: Training him? Boss: Keeping him moist?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corner cubicle, #window control, #mad woman, #giant magnifiying glass, #life support

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Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "Alice moved into the corner cubicle and claimed control over the window shades!" Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Dilbert says, "Our life support systems will be in the hands of a madwoman!" Wally is sweating and panicked. He says, "Maybe she'll be kind." Alice is holding on to a giant magnifying glass that she's attached to her cubicle wall."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #giant magnifying glass, #death ray, #too warm, #head too warm

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Catbert says to Alice, "Alice, I understand you've been using a giant magnifying glass as a death ray in the office." Alice responds, "It's not a death ray, I use it only to burn off toupees." Catbert replies, "Oh.. that's okay." A co-worker asks Dilbert, "Is your head too warm? My toupee is too warm."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new server, #condescending simple version, #full technical explination, #early covislaizations, #no concept of zero

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The Boss: Tell me why you need a new server. and don't give me the condescending simple version for managers. I want a full technical explanation. Dilbert: Early civilizations had no concept of zero. The Boss: Go on.