Gigantic Raise Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

204 Results for Gigantic Raise

View 11 - 20 results for gigantic raise comic strips. Discover the best "Gigantic Raise" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #stock market, #good investment, #bitter, #last raise, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The stock market is up today. I wonder if this is a good time to get in. Dilbert: If you wait until it goes up even further, then you'll know it's a good investment. Wally: Are you still bitter about your last raise? Dilbert: Not as much as I was a minute ago.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #job, #sez, #raise, #bench, #outside, #project, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Dogbert and a man sit on a park bench. The man says, ". . . So then I sez to my boss, 'You can just stuff this stupid project . . .'" The man continues, "Then I sez, 'Let's see YOU do this job.' And I sez, 'I should get a raise.' I gotta go." Dogbert says, "The more they sez 'I sez,' the less likely it is they really said what they sez they said."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #gigantic circles, #wheat, #british, #fields, #circles, #message, #extra-terrestrials, #deciphered, #surrendered

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on a hassock watching television. The newscaster says, "Gigantic circles continue to appear in British wheat fields." The reporter continues, "Experts believe the circles are a message from extra-terrestrials . . ." The newscaster continues, "The message has been deciphered as 'Surrender or the wheat dies.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #stock market, #no raise, #accomplished nothing, #invest in penny stocks, #hot stock tips, #narrowed the gap, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I can't give you a raise because you accomplished nothing this year. Wally: That's okay because I make a fortune investing in penny stocks. Do you want some hot stock tips? Dilbert: Did you get a raise. Wally: No, but I narrowed the gap between his income and mine.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #doctor, #whacks, #knee, #patient, #crime, #society, #fault, #raise, #taxes, #feed, #poor, #stop, #nuclear, #research, #liberal, #normal, #life, #annoying, #parties

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stool holding a reflex hammer. He says to the patient on the examining table, "Hold still while Doctor Dogbert whacks your knee." As Dogbert taps his knee, the man says, "Aak . . . Crime is society's fault . . . Raise taxes to feed the poor . . . Stop nuclear research . . . Save the . . ." The man covers his mouth. Dogbert says, "Apparently you're a knee-jerk liberal. You can live a normal life but you'll be annoying at parties."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #patent, #budget, #raise

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "My patent will make fifty million dollars for the company, so I thought maybe you could afford to give me a raise." The Boss replies, "Unfortunately, the profit bucket is not connected to the budget bucket, so there's no money for a raise." Dilbert says, "I think some recognition of a job well-done is appropriate here." The Boss replies, "Thanks. It WAS one of my better excuses."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no raise, #engineers wuit, #the goal, #reduce headcount, #smart people leave, #organize pot luck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I'm telling you - if nobody gets a raise, half the engineers will quit!" The Boss: "That's the goal. We're trying to reduce headcount by fifty percent." Dilbert: "But all the smart people will leave!" Dilbert: "Would you mind organizing a goodbye potluck lunch for them?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #team leader, #raise, #no extra money, #responsibility, #best epople, #leave better companies, #recognize them

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to team leader." Dilbert asks, "Do I get a raise?" The Boss replies, "There's no extra money, just extra responsibility. It's how we recognize our best people." Dilbert says, "I thought all the good people leave for better companies." The Boss walks away saying, "That's another way to recognize them."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #make less, #janitor, #plunger, #plumber, #rascal, #animal, #alice loves job, #boss, #raise

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice shows the Boss a document and says angrily, "When you consider the hours I work, I make less per hour than the janitor!" The janitor enters carrying a plunger with a small animal sticking out of it. He says to the Boss, "Look what was blocking the pipes! It took me all morning to plunge the rascal out." Alice and the Boss look surprised. Still looking shocked, Alice says, "I love my job." The Boss says, "I'm giving him a raise."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #project cancelled, #rumor has it, #give raise, #come work, #transfer, #pathological liar, #super prowers

View Transcript

Transcript

A co-worker says to Dilbert, "Reliable sources say your project will be canceled, Dilbert." The co-worker continues, "You should abandon it now and come work on MY project. When my big promotion goes through next month, I'll transfer you to my group and give you a raise." Dilbert says, "That's very tempting except for the fact you're a pathological liar." The co-worker waves his hands and says, "Be careful what you say - I have super powers."