Greed Comic Strips - Page 2
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23 Results for Greed
View 11 - 20 results for greed comic strips. Discover the best "Greed" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 09,
2009
Tags analysis, idea, suggestion, complaining, Advice, greed, science
Transcript
Dilbert says, "According to my analysis, all future ideas are already covered by over-general patents." Dilbert says, "Our best strategy is to get out of this business and become trademark infringement lawyers." The boss says, "I don't know how to be a lawyer." Catbert says, "That only matters if you take cases on a contingency basis."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday September 14,
2009
Tags sitting, talking, meeting, idea, changing, greed, dangerous, mean, cruel, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We need to make our pricing plan more confusing." Dogbert says, "And change our packaging to that hard plastic that always cuts the consumes' hands." Dogbert says, "I've been in a bad mood since everyone started talking about capping my excessive pay."
Tuesday September 15,
2009
Tags testing, meeting, bosses, ceo, pay, explosion, head, greed, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I can't tell if my pay is excessive enough." Dogbert says, "So I created a lab to test the reaction of hobos to my different pay scenarios." Wally says, "It's your turn to find the next hobo."
Friday September 18,
2009
Tags ceo, conference, meeting, greed, corruption, illegal, business
Transcript
CEO summit Dogbert says, "Obviously it's illegal for companies to rig bids." Dogbert says, "But interestingly, the crime is nearly impossible to prove when nothing is written down." Dogbert says, "I'd like you to meet Eddie. Pay close attention to how many times he stomps his hoof."
Saturday September 19,
2009
Tags ceo, asking, meeting, group, conference, drinking, collusion, scared, nervous, corruption, greed, business
Transcript
CEO Summit Dogbert says, "Do you collude?" Man says, "Sometimes." Dogbert says, "Are you colluding with anyone now, because I'd sure like to collude with you." Dogbert says, "What are you into? Maybe a little price fixing?" Man says, "This is all happening so fast."
Wednesday December 02,
2009
Tags greed, ceo, retiring, placeholder, corpse, podium
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm stepping down as CEO because I already milked all of the cash out of the this dying cow." Dogbert says, "My replacement is a dried-up corpse. But don't worry; he's just a placeholder until a new CEO can be found." The Boss says, "The faint breeze is blowing away his head." Dogerbt says, "You should probably hurry."
Monday July 29,
2013
Tags baby, falls, game, management fast track, money, money bags, punch wessel, rescuing plastic baby, test, weasel, greed, failed test
Transcript
Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.
Thursday November 20,
2014
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package
Tags avarice, compensation, executives, golden parachute, greed, money, wages
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.
Wednesday February 25,
2015
Asok The Stock Picking Genius
Tags day trader, greed, investing, luck, money, stock market, stocks
Transcript
Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.
Saturday June 27,
2015
Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping
Tags identity, hacker, hacking, government, manhunt, technology, money, ruse, trick, greed, betrayal
Transcript
Dilbert: The government threatened to kill me if I don't sell them my anti-hacker app. Dogbert: You should change your identity, give me everything you own, and move to an undisclosed location. Dilbert: Will we have a secret way to stay in contact? Dogbert: You're becoming a burden.
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