Search Results for "guilty of treason"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #feel guilty, #enhance stockholder value

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert says to Wally, "Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough to enhance stockholder value." Dilbert asks, "Do you ever feel that way?" Wally pours the entire coffee pot into his mouth: "Glug Glug Glug." Wally hands Dilbert the empty coffee pot. Dilbert says, "I'll take that as a No."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2002's comic on:


Tags #defendant guilty, #sentence tod eath, #deliberated, #heard evidence, #lenos monlogues, #not eveidence

View Transcript

Transcript

The foreman of the jury says, "We find the defendant guilty and we sentence him to death." A woman in the jury says, "Umm.. we haven't deliberated. We haven't even heard any evidence yet." The foreman replies, "Okay, so, what I'm hearing is that Leno's monologue is NOT evidence?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #retired, #do anything, #all day long, #banging head, #earn money, #social infrastructure, #warm, #tingly, #sensation, #guilty

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "It's nice to be retired. I'll do a-a-anything I want to do all day long." "I guess you'll be banging your head against a wall today, trying to earn money for the social infrastructure." Dilbert: "Do you ever feel guilty?" Dogbert: "Is it a warm, tingly sensation that makes you wag?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #feel guilty, #scam, #money, #smarter, #arrogance, #good system

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you ever feel guilty for scamming innocent people out of their money? Dogbert: "No." "I only scam people who would do the same to me if they were just smarter." Dilbert: "So you use arrogance to cancel guilt?" Dogbert: "It's a good system."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #go fatser, #set tone, #control, #opinions are treason, #name calling, #intimidation, #corporations, #little guy, #meeting, #tone of intimidation, #condescending, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #system failures, #data aren't actionable, #no practical value, #crime, #guilty, #feel awkward, #incident

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "We had fifteen system failures with the previous software." Dilbert says to Ted, "Your data aren't actionable." Ted replies, "What?" Dilbert continues, "Your presentation has no practical walue." Ted throws his hands in the air in defeat and says to Dilbert, "Well, if that's suddenly a crime then call me guilty!" Wally says, "Now the meeting feels awkward can we go back to acting interested?" Dilbert replies, "I guess." Ted says, "Fine. Let's put this ugly incident behind us."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #christmas presents, #absolutely nothing, #guilty, #nothing to unwrap, #clutter, #return, #assemble, #holiday

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Merry Christmas. I got you the gift of absolutely nothing. Nothing to unwrap, nothing to clutter the house, nothing to return, nothing to assemble, and not a single thing to feel guilty about. Dilbert: You totally get me. Dogbert: It was the least I could do.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #Family, #right to asylum, #surveillance, #execute dilbert, #treason, #top secret data, #graves, #shovel, #backyard

View Transcript

Transcript

NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Family, #husbands, #priorities, #work ethic, #balancing, #trash talk, #guilty, #busywork, #husband, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, I know it isn't easy balancing your work duties and your family. So I thought it would help if I trash-talk your family. That way you won't feel so guilty when you ignore them to do my busywork. I'll start with your husband. Carol: Don't bother. I got that one covered.

Exactly What Guilty People Say

Thank you for voting.
Exactly What Guilty People Say  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #accusation, #guilt, #innocence, #logic, #rumor

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen... Carol: Alice says you deleted her files on the server. Dilbert: That didn't happen. She's nuts. Carol: Ha! You wouldn't be so angry if it weren't true. Dilbert: What? That doesn't even make sense. Carol: That's exactly what guilty people say. Narrator: Continued...