Hire Third Time Comic Strips - Page 2
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1000 Results for Hire Third Time
View 11 - 20 results for hire third time comic strips. Discover the best "Hire Third Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 22,
2001
Tags #bait and switch, #first and third wives, #invited for drinks, #men vs women, #pretext, #tricked, #undertsand
Transcript
Alice approaches the Boss' desk and says, "A vendor invited me for drinks. It's the only time he has to talk about his product." The Boss says, "He's using the old bait-lube-and-switch trick. That's how I met my first and third wives." Alice replies, "I don't understand." The Boss says, "That's why it works."
Tuesday June 29,
2004
Thursday September 11,
2008
Tags #impossible task, #forbidden powers, #third arm, #lost intellectual curiosity
Transcript
Asok thinks, "My task is impossible unless I use my forbidden powers." Asok thinks, "Would anyone notice if I had a third arm for a few hours?" Wally says, "I lost my intellectual curiosity just in time."
Sunday September 30,
2001
Tags #slow walking women, #squeeze, #oblivious, #time stands still
Transcript
Dilbert is walking behind a pair of women. He thinks to himself, "Uh-oh.. Slow- walking women." Dilbert looks around them. He thinks, "I can't squeeze around." Dilbert stomps up and down. He thinks, "I'll make footstep noise so they'll notice and move." From behind the women, he says to himself, "It didn't work. They're oblivious slow-walking women!" Dilbert continues thinking, "Time stands still as I wait to take my next step." Alice walks up to Dilbert and says, "Oh no.. It's a pair of oblivious slow-walking women." Alice continues, "I'll throw you over the top. Then you can open the side door so I can go around." Dilbert's feet fly over the women's heads. One says, "Third one today." The other says, "Weird."
Thursday May 15,
2014
Tags #dating, #time travel, #date cyborgs, #time travelrs, #from future, #less flattering guess, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: I don't date cyborgs. Dilbert: I'm not a cyborg. Yet. Woman: I don't date time travelers from the future. Dilbert; I'm not a time traveler. Woman: My third guess is less flattering. Dilbert: I'm a time traveler.
Friday November 14,
2014
Hiring A Co Ceo
Tags #ceos, #executives, #wages, #work ethic, #co ceo, #break tie, #manioulate, #pay, #hire, #split salary, #money
Transcript
CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.
Monday April 02,
2018
Spare Time
Wednesday August 29,
2018
Dogbert's Time Management Book
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #time, #management, #time management, #blank
Transcript
Dogbert: Would you like to read my book on time management? Dilbert: Yes. These pages are blank. Dogbert: I just saved you three hours.
Friday August 31,
2018
Introducing The New Hire
Tags #the boss, #new hire, #names, #introduction
Transcript
The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?
Saturday November 09,
2019
Time Travel By Printer
Tags #business, #presentation, #technolgy, #molecular, #scan, #body, #brain, #time travel, #3d print, #meeting
Transcript
dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?