Hold Out Arm Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for hold out arm comic strips. Discover the best "Hold Out Arm" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hold press conference, #introduce cold fusion, #breakthrough, #lightbulb, #wires plugged, #low opinion, #jar with frosted glass, #overkill

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Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time travel, #elbonia, #time, #70 years future, #great grandson, #set thing, #won't work out, #cave, #pool, #monster, #gun

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Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #office workers, #mindless task, #intern, #time, #little value, #jump out, #nice way to say

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Dilbert: Asok, there's no nice way to say this... do this mindless task for me because you're nothing but an intern and your time has very little value. Asok: There probably was a nice way to say that. Dilbert: It didn't jump out.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #anxiety, #internet & world wide web, #password recovery, #password, #pin code, #user name, #code word, #complicated planet, #floyd, #first person, #breath, #jump, #outer psce

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Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #envy, #useful member of society, #admiration, #respect, #peers, #talked out of

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Wally: I'm toying with the idea of becoming a useful member of society. Then I could enjoy the admiration and respect of my peers. Dilbert: The way you respect and admire me? Wally: Great! Now you've talked me out of it!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #doctors' offices, #medicines, #whiny idiots, #pill, #doctor, #exam room, #office, #treadmill, #pass out, #medical

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Dilbert: I'm sick of listening to whiny idiots. Do you have a pill for that? Doctor: I sure do! I took a handful of them this morning and I feel great in spite of your complaining! How funny would it be if I make you run on a treadmill until you pass out?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #facebook, #robot arm, #talented employees, #giant condescending facebook

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Catbert says, "Facebook has created a giant robot arm to steal talented employees from other companies." Catbert says, "It's here!!!" Catbert says, "No, it looks like we got the giant condescending Facebook robot arm instead."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #scientific equipment, #data center, #lights out, #eliminate problems, #moving cables, #power cords, #ruining everything, #speakerphone, #humans are germs, #science

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Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #conversation, #get mad, #point out dumb, #helpful, #doctor, #Dogbert, #medical

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Dilbert: I wonder why people get mad when I point out how dumb they are. I'm just trying to be helpful. I don't want people going through life not knowing what the problem is. I'm kind of like a doctor. Dogbert: I stopped listening back at the house.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #keep brain out, #laziness, #long and complicated, #technical recommendation, #thinking, #make decision

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Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.