Honored To Speak Comic Strips - Page 2

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83 Results for Honored To Speak

View 11 - 20 results for honored to speak comic strips. Discover the best "Honored To Speak" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogebert the ceo, #united charities, #honored, #company health plan, #leadership, #free clinics

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Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits at desk while lady says, "The 'United Charities' would like you to be chairman this year." Dogbert says, "I'd be honored. Oh, and while you're up, cancel the company health plan." Caption: One week later... Man at podium that reads 'United Charities' presents Dogbert an award. Man says, "Under his leadership, our free clinics have handled TWICE as many people." Dogbert accepts the award and responds, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #people fear public speaking, #fear death, #kill a guy, #scheduled to speak, #sleep, #threats, #dogcart threatens dilbert, #hints at death, #health

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the breakfast table. Dilbert has his lap top in front of him. Dogbert says, "They say people fear public speaking more than they fear death." Dogbert says, "So technically, if you kill a guy who's scheduled to speak, you're doing him a favor." Dogbert says, "When are you going to sleep." Dilbert says, "Never."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #queue, #loser, #speak to superior, #religious debate, #question

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A man sits in front of his computer and talks on the phone. He says, "Finally! I've been in the tech support queue for an hour!" Dogbert says, "Loser." The man says, "Can I speak to your superior?" Dogbert says, "There's some religious debate on that question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #speak english, #think in french, #french lessons, #croissant

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Carol is standing next to the boss's desk holding a folder. The boss is sitting at his desk while signing a sheet of paper says: "I speak English but I think in French." The boss hands a sheet of paper to Carol and says: "Someday I'll take French lessons to find out what the heck I'm thinking." Carol exits the boss's office and the boss thinks: "Croissant"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #meeting with boss, #speak frankly, #problems in dept, #ask out

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Alice says to the Boss, "I scheduled a meeting with your boss." The Boss looks startled. Alice continues, "He'll probably ask me to speak frankly about any problems in the department." The Boss thinks to himself, "This couldn't get any worse." Alice says to the Boss, "He's cute. I might ask him out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #payroll problem, #wrong person, #speak with supervisor, #forward call

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Dilbert, on the phone, says, "I'm trying to find someone who can help me with a payroll problem." A worker on the phone says, "You're close. I'm the guy who forwards your call to the wrong person." Dilbert says, "I'd like to speak with your supervisor." The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'll forward your call."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #complaining, #dump, #speak mind, #coffe mug, #demand id, #Opinion, #victory lap

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Exit Interview Employee: Heh-heh. I am going to speak my mind and dump on everyone. Boss: Give me our I.D. and get out. If anyone wanted your opinion I would have paid you enough to stay. Employee: So much for my victory lap. Boss: You forgot your mug!

Ricky Joins The Ai Project

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Ricky Joins The Ai Project  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #recommendation, #artificial intelligence, #lowers bar, #human intelligence, #artificial, #honored, #too nice

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Dilbert: I recommend Ricky to our artificial intelligence project. He lowers the bar on what constitutes human intelligence, so it will be easier for us to achieve the artificial kind. I would be honored to work on the project, The boss: Okay, I see what you mean.

Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots

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Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #alice, #ted talk, #idiots, #dumb, #career, #change, #smart, #possible, #speak

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The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #suspicion, #features for product, #overstaffed, #spare time, #job description, #healthy raise, #highest performance rating

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Dilbert: In my spare time I created some awesome new features for our product. Boss: GAAA!!! Shut the door! Dilbert: What?!! Boss: You fool! If my boss finds out you have spare time, he'll think we're overstaffed! You can never speak of these awesome new features again. Dilbert: I'm confused. You told me I need to go above and beyond my job description to get the highest performance rating. Boss: That's just something I say to keep you from getting a healthy raise. Dilbert: So... I lose no matter what I do? Boss: For what it's worth, you're doing better than our customers.