Illusion Of Competence Comic Strips - Page 2

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59 Results for Illusion Of Competence

View 11 - 20 results for illusion of competence comic strips. Discover the best "Illusion Of Competence" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #makes me happy, #exoskleton, #bad job, #social life, #chemicals, #illusion, #engineer, #soul, #therapy, #psychology, #engineering

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Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch in an exoskeleton. He says, "My medication makes me happy despite my exoskeleton, bad job, and social life." Dilbert continues, "If chemicals can change the way I think and what I enjoy, then free will must be an illusion." The therapist asks, "What about your soul?" Dilbert responds, "I'm an engineer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #user interface, #add button, #random changes, #create illusion, #adding value

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The Boss: Why did you add this button to the user interface? Dilbert: You told me to. The boss: Why would I tell you that? Dilbert: You always suggest random changes to create the illusion of adding value. The Boss: Well, remove that button. Dilbert: It's only on your copy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #angel, #fix things, #granted wishes, #know it all, #needy, #questions, #things gone wrong, #workers, #angel of competence

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Angel: I am the angel of competence. I have come to mark you as an engineer turn around, Dilbert: So, its like an honor? Angel: Sure, if that makes you feel better. The Boss: Can you show me how to set ups my wireless router at home? Tina: My phone keeps freezing up, can you look at it? Ted: How long should I barbecue trick-tip? Man: The pilot lightly on my water heater is out, How do you fix cracks in a driveway? what exactly does iCloud do? GAAA!!! Dilbert: I need to talk to the angel of competence have you seen him? Wally: He died in my cubicle, Thats all Im saying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #illusion of value, #meeting, #obvious, #maintain illusion, #business

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Dilbert: It's obvious what I need to do next. But I'll let you tell me so you can maintain the illusion of value. The Boss: stop being this way. Dilbert: I saw that coming a mile away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #betray ignorance, #complicated scle, #experience the illusion, #technical report

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Dilbert says, "You won't read my technical report so I summarized it in this complicated slide." Dilbert says, "If you stare at it long enough you will either experience the illusion of understanding it or be too embarrassed to admit you don't." Dilbert says, "Do you have any questions to betray your ignorance?" Someone says, "Is the triangle thing mad at the tube?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #purse at home, #pay you, #curse of competence, #fortune teller, #curse on first born, #crystal ball

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Dilbert's Mom says, "I seem to have left my purse at home. I won't be able to pay you." A fortune teller says, "I put the curse of competence on your firstborn son!" Dilbert's Mom says, "That doesn't sound so bad." Years Later A man says, "I need a little help." Dilbert says, "GAAA! Why always me?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #logo for project, #badgered them, #finish it quickly, #competence by logo, #pile of poop

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Dilbert says, "Our graphics department made this logo for my project." Dilbert says, "In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have badgered them to finish quickly." Dilbert says, "Please don't judge my competence by my logo." Two people say, "Too late."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #agree, #and solution, #anger, #appearance of differnce, #clarity, #comprehend both problem, #experiencing an illusion, #limits of comprehension, #wrestling, #defective brain

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Worker: I have to disagree with you , dilbert. Gilbert: Actually, you odnt disagree with me, Worker: I dont? Dilbert: No, You think you disagree with me, but your mistaken. Dilbert: You're simply experiencing an illusion caused by the limits of your comprehension. If you were able to fully comprehend both the problem and my recommendation solution, you would agree with me. Dilbert: So what appears to be a difference of opinion if just you wrestling with your own defective brain. Dilbert: There's no reason to get the rest of us involved in that mess. Have you ever noticed that clarity makes people angry?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #envy, #exhibitions, #technology trade show, #so huge, #illusion, #great cup holder

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Wally says, "What happened to you?" Dilbert says, "I went to a technology trade show." Dilbert says, "The event was so huge that it made me feel small. But it's just an illusion." Wally says, "For an illusion, you make a great cup holder." Dilbert says, "Dude. Not cool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #agreement, #bad news, #euphoric feeling, #harsh landing, #illusion of progress, #lasts a minute, #momentary sweetness, #reacts, #spoiler, #planning meeting

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Alice: Okay, we have a good plan forward. This meeting is adjourned. Oooh!!!" "AaaaH!!!" Asok: What is that?"AAAH!! Dilbert: She's tasting the sweet nectar of the illusion in progress. It's that euphoric feeling you get between the time you make a plan and the time some moron thwarts it. AAAH!!! It can last anywhere from less than a minute to as much as a minute. Wally: Ted won't meet with us because someone told him that you told someone else he was an obstacle. Alice: GRRRRR!!! Dilbert: The landing is harsh."