Include Enough Info Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

332 Results for Include Enough Info

View 11 - 20 results for include enough info comic strips. Discover the best "Include Enough Info" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dierctor, #resumes, #highly qualified, #applicants, #don't pay enough, #hire qualified applicants

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on a desk and says to Dilbert, "Here are the resumes of highly qualified applicants for your opening." Catbert snatches the resumes away from Dilbert and says, "It's too bad we don't pay enough to hire qualified applicants. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Alice and Dilbert sit at a table looking through piles of resumes. Alice says, "Let's see . . . We've got resumes in pencil . . . Crayon . . . pencil . . . Eyeliner . . ." Dilbert says, "Hey! Dot matrix!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #schedule, #future unplanned network outages, #include schedule, #sick days, #volcanic eruptions, #earth quakes, #hurricanes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands the Boss a document and says, "As you requested, here is a schedule of all future unplanned network outages." Dilbert continues, "I took the initiative to include a schedule of all future sick days, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and hurricanes." Dilbert says, "This is the point when you realize how stupid your request was and we have a good laugh." The Boss reads the document and looks shocked. He asks, "Does CNN know about this?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #feel for engineers, #tired of pretty boys, #appreciate dancing, #exotic dancing, #passion, #phyiscs, #scratch ear, #can't get enough

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in the park wearing a jogging suit and with his arms crossed. He looks mad. Dogbert sits witha cute girl. She says, "until I met you, Dogbert, I always fell for engineers." The girl pets Dogbert. She says, "But I'm tired of pretty boys. i want a guy who will appreciate my exotic dancing as much as my passion for physics." Dilbert starts sobbing. Dogbert says, "Scratch under this ear for a minute." The girl lifts his ear and says, "Sure. I can't get enough touching."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #guidlines for passwords, #six characters, #include numbers and letters, #upper and lower case, #change once a month, #touture employees, #write nothing down

View Transcript

Transcript

Man comes up to Dilbert and introduces himself, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. I bring new guidelines for passwords." Dilbert reads the guidelines, "'All passwords must be at least six characters long.. include numbers and letters.. include a mix of upper and lower case..'" Dilbert continues to read, "'Use different passwords for each system change once a month, do not write anything down.'" Mordac yells, "Squeal like a pig!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1999's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalists, #web based, #business, #engineer, #cool ponytail, #good enough, #money, #suitcase full, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands in front of his cubicle with his hair in a ponytail. Two men in suits walk up to him. The dark haired man says, "Wally we're venture capitalists. We want to invest in your web-based business." Wally says, "I don't own a web-based business. I'm just an engineer with a cool ponytail." Man 1 says, "That's good enough for us." He offers a briefcase full of money. Man 2, who holds a fistfull of cash, says, "We like to get in early."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #management guide, #work, #bright enough, #decions, #randomness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a table with the boss. Dogbert wears a turban. Dogbert says, "You must use the stars as your management guide." The boss says, "Does that work?" The boss says, "If you believe it works, then you're not bright enough to make your own decisions anyway." Dogbert wags his tail. Dogbert says, "So randomness is probably an improvement." The boss says, "Q.E.D."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #two more people, #enough direct reports, #vice president title, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss reads a memo and thinks, "If I eliminate the training budget, I can afford to hire two more people." The Boss smirks, and thinks, "Then I'll have enough direct reports to get a vice president title." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Shouldn't we have a strategy?" The Boss says, "I have one. Thanks for asking."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #everyone can come, #blame traffic, #sociopth, #get enough sleep

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says to Dilbert: "I scheduled the meeting for 6:00 A.M. so everyone can make it." Dilbert says to the boss: "I assume you'll show up at eight o'clock and blame the traffic." The boss walks away and says: "The great thing about being a sociopath is that I always get enough sleep."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dont pay enough, #hire brilliant people, #web team, #stock options

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee explains to the Boss: "We don't pay enough to hire brilliant people for our web team." She continues: "I need webiot savants who don't know they should have better jobs." At a hiring interview the the applicant says: "I'd expect stock options, of course." She turns and yells, "Next!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #enough engineers, #all requests, #sales support, #online data base, #contempt, #disbelief, #mixture

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "We don't have enough engineers to handle all the requests for sales support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Build an online database to log all the requests." Dilbert says to The Boss, "It might look as if I'm staring at you with a mixture of contempt and disbelief, but I'm actually meditating."