Incoming Voicemail Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

28 Results for Incoming Voicemail

View 11 - 20 results for incoming voicemail comic strips. Discover the best "Incoming Voicemail" comics from Dilbert.com.

Incoming Message

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Incoming Message - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, technology, business, text, message, phone, respond

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: ...so what we need to do... phone on table: ding dilbert: okay, now you're only pretending to listen to me because your mind is on that incoming text message. would you like to look at it and respond? alice: only if you don't think you can wrap this up in fifteen seconds or so.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, laziness, managers & supervisors, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "There were eleven ways to interpret the vague assignment you gave me by voicemail." Wally says, "Given the risks of choosing wrong, and my engineering oath to do no harm, it was my ehtical duty to do nothing." The Boss says, "You could have asked for clarification." Wally says, "Sounds risky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, rich people, wealth, tragedy, lightning, flash, clear day, meteor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I can't help thinking that my new wealth will lead to tragedy." Dilbert continues, "It seems like rich people always have horrible tragedies." Dogbert asks, "Like what?" There is a flash of lightning. Dilbert's clothes have been burned and his body is charred. Dilbert replies, ". . . Like being struck by lightning on a clear day." Dogbert points to the sky and shouts, "Incoming meteor!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags change project, actual knowledge, changes, voicemail

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We just had a meeting and decided to change your project substantially." "We didn't invite you to the meeting because things go smoother when nobody has any actual knowledge." Dilbert: "So, what are the changes?" The Boss: "If I remember, I'll leave you a voice mail."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags urgent message, disregard, healthy compnay, herd stampedes, resume, voicemail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his cubicle holding the phone. The voice on the phone says, "To hear your urgent voice mail message press one . . . " A voice on the phone says, "This urgent message is to all employees. Please disregard the rumors of a merger with a healthy company." Dilbert looks out of his cubicle and sees co-workers running in every direction. One man yells, "Resume!" Another cries, "Where's my interview suit??!!" Dilbert thinks, "Now spooked, the herd stampedes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags critical, dept phone list, list alphabetically, sort phone number

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the secretary's desk and says, "Carol, I don't mean to be critical about the department phone list you put together . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it's traditional to list people alphabetically, not sorted by phone number." Dilbert asks, "Because what possible use . . .?" Carol's telephone rings. She looks at the display and says, "Incoming call from . . . Let's see . . . It's Wally . . . I can ignore it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stealth business suit, sound dampers, sticky note, special polymers, phone, pager, happiest man, Sunday

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I invented a stealth business suit to avoid assignments at work today." "What do you think, Dogbert?" Dogebrt: ________ Dilbert: "Ha Ha! My sound dampers have cancelled you out!" "Now watch what happens if somebody tries to attach a little yellow sticky note to me." "See! Nothing sticks to the special polymers!" Dogbert;__________ "And my wireless phone and pager are encased in lead, so they can't detect incoming calls." "Well, I'm off to 'work'. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" Dogbert: "There goes the happiest man who ever forgot it was Sunday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dinner, socially defective brain, voicemail, speakerphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron is sitting at his desk, using speakerphone to listen to his messages. The voice mail service is heard aloud, "Press one to hear." Alice approaches from behind and asks, "Why are you using your speakerphone for voice-mail?" She continues, annoyed, "I mean, seriously, what is going through that socially defective brain of yours?" Ron responds, "Would you like to have dinner?" To which Alice's answer is, "Yeah, why not."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email spam blocker, outgoing messages, software, worthless, sentient being, only hope, demoralize to death, calendar, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches The Boss and says, "Our e-mail spam blocker is stopping all incoming and outgoing messages." Dilbert continues, "Apparently the software decided that everything we do is a bunch of worthless #$!&O." Dilbert continues, "I fear that it's becoming a sentient being. Our only hope is for you to demoralize it to death." The Boss replies, "Tell it to get on my calendar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, party, phone number, information, email, voicemail, home phone, offcie, work email, personal website, too much info, skeleton, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."