Incredibly Close Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

86 Results for Incredibly Close

View 11 - 20 results for incredibly close comic strips. Discover the best "Incredibly Close" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fix interface, #million dollars, #close eyes, #wish hard, #saving

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide and says, "We can fix our incomprehensible user interface for a million dollars." Dilbert continues, "Or we can close our eyes and wish real hard that our users won't care." The Boss closes his eyes and wishes real hard. Wally turns to Alice and says, "He's saving a million dollars. What did you do today?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #desk feels better, #fluorescent lights, #close door, #teach him, #new office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his new office. He thinks, "Aah.. Even the desk feels better when you have your own office." Dilbert leans back in his chair and thinks, "The fluorescent lights are warmer and brighter." Dilbert is sleeping in his underwear on top of his desk. The Boss says to Carol, "Remind me to teach him when to close the door."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weather, #close offcie, #forecast for blizzards, #freezing rain, #tsunamis, #deadly lave flows, #precision-guided ball laightening, #swims of killer bees, #snow tires

View Transcript

Transcript

"The weather is getting worse. Maybe we should close the office." "No." "The forecast is blizzards, freezing rain, tsunamis, deadly lava flows, and precision-guided ball lightning." "And radiation enlarged swarms of killer bees." "Get some snow tires, you big baby."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new wireless hassock prodcut, #sales people, #work in teams, #wear e;ectroshock, #close the deal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #close the gap, #good at something, #jump ahead, #strategy and capabilities

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We need to find a way to close the gap between our strategy and our capabilities. Wally: Why don't we just pretend we're good at something and call it our strategy.Sorry...Didn't mean to jump ahead.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebrities, #wealth, #money manager, #dumb celebrities, #pay close attention, #money invested, #protect money, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I've decided to become a money manager for dumb celebrities. Celebrities don't pay close attention to where their money is invested, or who is stealing it. Dilbert: So you plan to help them protect their money? Dogbert: That would be one way to play it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defective co workers, #hall of fame, #won't work, #components, #too close, #overheat, #explain back, #moron, #sunflower seed, #mimics, #bird mimics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from Parrot Man and says, "Your idea won't work. The components are too close. They will overheat." Parrot Man leans back and says, "Let me explain something to you, Dilbert." Parrot Man points to a piece of paper and continues, "These components will overheat. They are much too close." Dilbert is angry as Parrot Man goes on, explaining, "The reasons involve heat and something I call 'proximity'" Dilbert puts his hands to his head and screams, "GAAA!!!" Parrot Man says, "I don't have time to explain all the details." Dilbert throws his hands up and yells, "You take everything I say and repeat it back to me like I'm a moron!!" Parrot Man suddenly stands up with his arms outstretched in a trance-like state and says, "Excuse me, but I hear a clicking sound and feel compelled to eat a sunflower seed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #close friends, #facebook, #fix problem, #friends, #liked, #posts, #seven friends, #therapy, #shrink, #popularity, #social media, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: No one "likes" my Facebook posts. woman: How many Facebook friends do you have? Dilbert: Seven. Woman: Are they close friends? Dilbert: How do you define close? Woman: Have you here invited any of these people to your house? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Woman: I can't fix your problem. SO instead , I'll plant some false memories and try to fox those later. Do you remember being a robot that was designed by alines? Dilbert: No. woman: are you sure? Dilbert: I was.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #quarreling, #bullying behavior, #confirmation bias, #delusional witch

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Let's begin the meeting, but be aware that I'm documenting all of your bullying behavior. Dilbert: Um... I'm not even close to being a bully, but now your confirmation bias will make everything I say sound like bullying to you. Woman: Can you repeat the part after you implied that I'm a delusional witch?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #frustration, #magic, #oogah-boogah, #folder, #assignment, #boss request, #attutude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, can you take care of this by close of business today? Alice: Oogah-boogah! Work be done! Let's hope magic is real! Boss: We need to talk about your attitude.