Internal Business Units Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Internal Business Units

View 11 - 20 results for internal business units comic strips. Discover the best "Internal Business Units" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Evil Robot Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Evil Robot Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, ceo, evil, executives, robot, sell robots, manipulate owners, titanium bolts

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Business Plan History

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business plan, futile, futility, goal, guest artist, logic, plan, john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.

Wife Starts A Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags entrepreneur, business, divorce, marriage, assumption, small business, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Business Agility Influencer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, agility, solution, meaningless, useless

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

Business Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, lying, context, important, acceptable, sick, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eliminate redundencies, internal process, irony, task force

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I started a task force to eliminate redundancies in our internal processes. Man: Really? I'm doing the same thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, saving & investment, intentional billing errors, honest mistakes, maintain bonuses, pipelien, new errors, pension algorythm, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, thinking, creative, teacher, business card, ideationista, education

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired Ken to teach us how to be more creative. According to his business card, his title is "ideationista." Ken: That was some of my best work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, secondhand sales, tablet computer, business, design logo, pay another company, other companies, watch, engineers, degrade, low morale

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags industry & manufacturing, manufacturing, more green, ac units, elastic bands, hats covered eyes, don't shoot messenger, elbonian, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.