Internal Debvelopers Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

26 Results for Internal Debvelopers

View 11 - 20 results for internal debvelopers comic strips. Discover the best "Internal Debvelopers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #internal email, #use integration, #leverage, #communication, #perjury

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: can you explain the meaning of this internal email message? Dilbert: It says we'll "Use integration tools to leverage the utility of our enterprise- wide processes. Dilbert: It appears to be something we call communication. Lawyer: Perjury!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #internal clients, #tracking, #fake bills, #helpful

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "We're going to start tracking our time spent with internal clients." The Boss continues, "I will cleverly send fake bills to other departments to show how helpful we are." Wally replies, "I can't help you. I'm busy with my time sheet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #look like losers, #give numbers, #internal subterfuge, #eighty percent, #vp

View Transcript

Transcript

There are several papers on a table. The Boss says to Dilbert, "We can't show these numbers to our VP. They make us look like losers." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Find something we're doing well and give him those numbers instead." Dilbert, wearing dark glasses and a false moustache, looks on as the VP reads the report and says, "Wow! Our internal subterfuge is up eighty percent!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #tech solution, #simple, #cost fortune, #internal approvals, #vast herds, #management dolts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "The technical solution is simple and inexpensive." "But it would cost a fortune to get internal approvals because vast herds of management dolts would get involved." "So I should just do it, right?" The Boss: "Did you just call me a vast herd?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #disloyal ingrate, #evil dircetor, #inform boss, #internal job open, #new policy

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: "Evil H.R. Director." "New policy: You must inform your boss before applying for an internal job opening." "PURRRRRRRRR." The Boss: "Well, good luck, you disloyal, back-stabbing ingrate."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2007's comic on:


Tags #internal phone lists, #excellent reasons, #policy, #random policy generator, #suspicious, #not helpful

View Transcript

Transcript

"You're not allowed to have internal phone lists on your wall." "There are excellent reasons for this policy, and I hope to someday know what they are." "They're getting suspicious about the random policy generator." spoit!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #consumer protection, #court ordered, #good defense, #internal emails, #known to be dangerous

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: The court ordered us to turn over all of our internal emails. Have you ever mentioned in email that our products are known to be dangerous but we don't care? CEO: I don't even know what products we make. Lawyer: That's a good defense. We might need that.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new job, #internal, #human resources, #celebrate, #dance, #eyes closed, #mouth open, #double, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Good news, Alice. You got the internal job you posted for." Alice says, "YES!!!" Catbert says, "You'll need to keep doing your old job too." Alice says, "Did you just make me celebrate a doubling of my workload?" Catbert says, "Thank you for acknowledging my awesomeness."

Internal Rules Versus Good Code

Thank you for voting.
Internal Rules Versus Good Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #coding, #engineers, #logic, #corporate, #bureaucracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished coding the software, but I used a much better database than our company standard. ed: In other words, your software is terrific, but we won't be able to use it because or our internal rules. Dilbert: The alternative was to write sub-optimal code. I'd rather be dead. Ted: I curse my lack of authority!

Criminal Does Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Criminal Does Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #market, #competitive, #career, #criminal, #internal, #tech support, #passwords, #software, #justice, #fist

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?