Jumbo Jet Comic Strips - Page 2

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23 Results for Jumbo Jet

View 11 - 20 results for jumbo jet comic strips. Discover the best "Jumbo Jet" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #survive, #plane, #crash, #worcestershire sauce, #whack, #cannabal, #meat, #tenderizer, #wonder, #body

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Dilbert, Dogbert, a captain and several people stand on a snow-covered mountain. Off in the distance is a crashed airplane. A man in a pilot's uniform says, "I've survived several jet crashes this year, so listen to me." The man continues, "The best way to prevent frostbite is to rub Worcestershire sauce on your body and whack yourself repeatedly with a meat tenderizer." As people pour sauce on themselves Dilbert thinks, "I wonder why he had enough of these for everybody?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #corporate jet pilot, #captain dogbert, #first flight, #training budget, #look out window, #jump, #in case of crash

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Dogbert sits in the cockpit of an airplane. He says, "Attention, passenger." Dogbert continues, "I'm Captain Dogbert. This is my first flight. I'll bet you wish you hadn't cut the corporate training budget." The passenger, the CEO of the company, looks shocked. Dogbert continues, "For safety, keep an eye out the window . . . If it looks like we're gonna hit the ground, try jumping up right before impact." The passenger looks scared.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #planes going down, #one parachute, #harvard mba, #dog, #knapsack, #old joke, #ceo grabs, #animals

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Dogbert stands in the cabin of the corporate jet wearing a parachute on his back. He says to the CEO, "It looks like the plane's going down and there's only one parachute." The CEO looks shocked. The CEO grabs the parachute and screams, "Give it to me!!! I'm a CEO with a Harvard MBA. You're a dog!!" Dogbert and the CEO fall through the air wearing packs on their backs. Dogbert says to the CEO, "That's my knapsack." As some fruit and loose paper falls out of the CEO's pack, he says, "Old joke."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #control, #during takeouff, #laptop computer, #plane control, #takeoff, #plane descent, #excel, #pilot communication

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Carol, the Boss's secretary, sits in her cubicle. She says to the Boss, "Have a nice flight. Remember to turn on your laptop during takeoff." The Boss says, "I thought they tell you to turn it OFF." Carol responds, "Off?!! How would they transfer control to you if they had trouble?" A jet falls straight down towards the ground. The pilot screams, "Turn off that !*#$ laptop!" The Boss says, "No way! I have to land this baby!... Can I do that in 'Excel'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #emotion, #Dogbert, #mood, #e.t., #neighbor, #cat, #fat, #fool, #academy, #best, #dog, #frozen, #lavatory, #imagine, #passing, #sorrow

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Dilbert points a video camera at Dogbert and says, "Let's see some emotion, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "I need to be in the mood." Dilbert says, "Remember when it looked like 'E.T.' died, but really he didn't?" Dogbert sniffs like he is about to cry. Dilbert says, "The neighbor's cat says you're fat." Dogbert says angrily, "The fool!" Dilbert says, "Imagine you won an academy award for 'Best Dog.'" Dogbert looks surprised and says, "Me?!!" Dilbert says, "Imagine some frozen lavatory waste from a passing jet crashes through the roof and flattens me as I film this." Dogbert falls over and laughs. Dilbert asks, "Is that sorrow? It doesn't look like sorrow." Dogbert thinks, "Oops."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1998's comic on:


Tags #date, #supermodel, #restaurant, #order food, #spaghetti, #loaf of bread, #absorb moisture, #sniff mints

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Dilbert and the skeletal supermodel order at a restaurant. Dilbert says, "I'll have the jumbo spaghetti meal with a loaf of garlic bread." The supermodel says, "I'll absorb moisture from the air and sniff the mints on the way out." Dilbert eats an huge portion of spaghetti and bread. Dilbert says, "Is it fun to be a supermodel?" The model says, "It was until now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #fast email, #boss confused, #priorities, #program compiling, #weasel, #Dilbert, #ignore email, #winning argument important

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The Boss sits at his desk in front of his computer, looking at his watch. The Boss says, "What the...?" The Boss goes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "You respond too quickly to my e-mail." The Boss continues, "Obviously, you aren't focusing on priorities." Dilbert turns and replies, "I do e-mail while my program is compiling." The Boss says, "You can't weasel out of this with your technical mumbo jumbo." Dilbert says, "You win. I'll ignore your e-mail from now on." The Boss walks back to his office and thinks, "The important thing is that I win." The Boss sits in front of his computer and thinks, "I wonder if MY programs ever compile."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #dipping employees, #varnish, #voted to fire you, #100 million, #1 million year

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Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2006's comic on:


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"Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late." "I have the worst case of jet lag ever. I'm still a baby in this time zone." "I don't think it works that way." "Hey, I just got a crazy idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #robot, #water damage, #hose, #spary, #military planes, #flying, #window, #personally, #hurt feelings

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The boss: Your warranty doesn't cover a bad attitude, but it does cover water damage. Dont take this personally, I just need to slowly kill you with a forceful jet of water. SLOOSH! Dilbert: Why is the sky full of military drones? The boss: How took it personally.