Justa Thought Comic Strips - Page 2
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264 Results for Justa Thought
View 11 - 20 results for justa thought comic strips. Discover the best "Justa Thought" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 16,
2007
Tags #highest raise, #exceed expectations, #thought possible, #goals higher, #incompetent, #setting goals, #maximum achievement, #choices
Transcript
"The Boss: I can't give you the highest raise because you didn't exceed expectations." Dilbert: "If you thought it was possible for me to exceed my expectations, you would have set the goals higher." "So there are only two possibilities here." "Either you are incompetent at setting goals..." "Or I attained the maximum possible achievement and I deserve the maximum raise." "Which is it?" The Boss: "Can I hear those two choices again?"
Sunday December 29,
2002
Tags #last three times, #thought stolen, #parked it, #forgot, #magic powers, #car stolen, #parking lot, #car will appear
Transcript
The Boss says to Carol, "Carol call the police. My car has been stolen." Carol responds, "Is it like the last three times that you thought it had been stolen?" Carol continues, "And later you realized you just forgot where you parked it?" The Boss replies, "No. This time is different. My car is totally gone." Carol puts her hands up in the air and says, "Watch me use my magic powers to make your car reappear in the parking lot." Carol closes her eyes and exclaims, "Presto auto reappearo!!!" Carol says to The Boss, "After all the other cars leave the parking lot, your car will appear." The Boss finds his car in the empty parking lot. He thinks, "Freaky."
Saturday November 30,
2013
Tags #complaining, #cruelty, #thinking, #thought diversity, #meeting, #fad, #business
Transcript
Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.
Monday December 02,
2013
Tags #complaining, #obliviousness, #thinking, #perspectives, #benefits, #thought diveristy, #all idiots
Transcript
Boss: I hired people who have different perspectives so we could enjoy the benefits of thought diversity. But they disagree with everything I say, so I have to assume they're all idiots. Am I right? Catbert: Totally.
Wednesday October 15,
2014
Tags #blame, #deadlines, #originality, #partnership, #project milestones, #toxic moron, #incapable, #original thought, #same
Transcript
Boss: You two have failed to meet your project milestones. Dilbert: That's because you paired me with a toxic moron who is incapable of having an original thought. Coworker: That happened to me, too.
Thursday May 19,
2016
Wally The Thought Leader
Tags #title, #leadership, #work ethic, #laziness, #strategy, #ruse
Transcript
Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.
Friday July 15,
2016
Just What She Thought
Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #technology, #conversation, #social interaction, #antisocial
Transcript
Woman: I'd better check this. It's just what I thought. Dilbert: What did you think? Woman: I thought I would enjoy my phone more than talking to you.
Saturday January 07,
2017
Boss Thought Of It First
Thursday October 04,
2018
Bias For Action
Monday January 31,
2011
Tags #fear, #terrorists, #viruses, #elbonian kidnappers, #refused ransom pay, #stockholm syndrome, #identifying with captors, #beating up, #contagious
Transcript
Asok says, "I thought my Elbonian kidnappers would hold me forever because you refused to pay the ransom." Asok says, "Then the Stockholm effect kicked in. I started identifying with my captors and beating myself." The Boss says, "And they let you go?" Asok says, "Apparently it looked contagious."