Key Revenue Comic Strips - Page 2

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134 Results for Key Revenue

View 11 - 20 results for key revenue comic strips. Discover the best "Key Revenue" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #contribution to revenue, #project would fail, #attributed, #same project, #equally valuable

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and another worker sit at a conference table. The Boss holds a document and says, "You should all follow Wally's example of how he quantifies his contribution to revenue." Wally explains, "Basically, I assumed my project would fail without me. Therefore all the revenue it generates can be attributed to me." The other worker asks, "Aren't we all on the same project?" Wally answers, "Yes, but evidently we're not all equally valuable."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bad news 1985, #replacing doctor, #registered nurse, #fired nurse, #aspirin, #vending machine, #vending machine revenue

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The caption says, "Bad news in 1985." Dilbert, the Boss and another man sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're replacing the company doctor with a registered nurse." The caption says, "Bad news in 1990." The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We fired the nurse and put the aspirin and tourniquets in the vending machine." The caption says, "Bad news in 1995." The Boss holds a mallet behind his back as he says to Dilbert and Wally, "We've been asked to increase vending machine revenue by fifteen percent."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #home, #video, #Dogbert, #godzilla, #bob, #dinosaur, #raymond, #burr, #set, #key grip, #role, #scene, #movie, #cheeseburger, #smoosh, #face, #fire extinguisher

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Dilbert sees Dogbert holding a video camera and asks, "A home video?" Dogbert answers, "'Dogbert Versus Godzilla.' We'll use Bob the Dinosaur as Godzilla and you can be Raymond Burr!" Bob asks, "Shouldn't Godzilla get top billing?" Dogbert shouts through a megaphone, "Quiet on the set!!" Dawn tells Dilbert, "Dogbert is letting me be the 'key grip.'" Dilbert replies, "Darn! All I get was the Raymond Burr role." Dogbert says, "In this first scene, Bob, you rip the arms off the 'Ken' doll while Barbie and Skipper watch in horror." Dogbert continues, "Dilbert, you'll be eating a cheeseburger and the shock waves will cause you to smoosh it into your face." Dogbert continues, "Then I come in and waste both of you with a fire extinguisher." Dilbert asks, "Raymond Burr dies?" Dawn asks, "What, no sequel?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #trade hsow, #Dogbert, #design, #deluxe booth, #more revenue

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Dogbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "If you plan to have a booth at the trade show, you need the 'Dogbert Trade-Show Consulting Company' to design it." Dogbert continues, "I recommend the deluxe booth. It's guaranteed to generate the most revenue." Alice asks, "How would the deluxe booth generate more revenue for my company?" Dogbert says, "Oh, suddenly this is about YOUR company?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #meeting, #obvious generalities, #revenue for profit, #run by artits, #small businesses, #business

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Dilbert lies on the couch reading. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a consultant in the field of obvious generalities." Dogbert explains, "I'll work for small businesses that are run by artists. They'll think I'm brilliant, which I am." Dogbert sits at a conference table with a man and a woman. The man, who has a goatee, says, "Whoa! Are you saying we need REVENUE to make profit??" The woman says, "Ouch! I've got a headache on one side."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #ignorant employees, #controls information, #board of directors, #appointed emperor, #escape key

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Dilbert sits at his computer. A voice comes from the video conferencing camera on top of the monitor. "This is Dogbert the Network Systems Administrator, to all ignorant employees." Dogbert stands in front of a computer terminal. He says, "He who controls your information, controls you. I control your information." The Boss sits at his computer. Dogbert voice says, "The board of directors has appointed me Emperor for Life. Bring the pointy-haried boss to me." The Boss furiously presses a key on his keyboard and thinks, "Uh-oh! The 'escape' key isn't working!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #tech conference, #attractive woman, #brush hand, #key, #concierge, #hotel, #check in, #men dominated

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Dilbert goes up to the airline desk at the airport. Woman behind the counter says, "Before I check you in, let me explain something.." Woman says, "You're here for a technology conference. I am the only attractive woman who will talk to you for days. I am not free for coffee later." Dilbert asks, "Can I brush your hand when you give me the key?" Woman says, "I'll toss it to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1998's comic on:


Tags #cartoonist, #ceo, #conference, #Dilbert, #key note speakers, #politician, #useful content

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AT THE CONFERENCE Dilbert: They have some great key note speakers here. There s a CEO....A politician....another CEO...and a cartoonist. Speaker: IN they cartoon, Gilbert goes to a conference that has no useful content. Dilbert: I know guys like that,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #optimistic assumptions, #revenue target, #visited by alien, #our new pordcut, #autopsy video, #technology

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Dilbert stands in front of a line graph titled, "$". Dilbert says, "I had to make some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target." The Boss is sitting behind Dilbert, looking at the graph. Dilbert continues, "In week three, we're visited by an alien named D'utox Inag who offers to share his advanced technology." The Boss asks, "Then do we use his technology to design our new product?" Dilbert replies, "No, we kill him and sell the autopsy video."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #job counseling, #disguise fact, #moron, #knowledge mangement, #optimization intiatives, #key learnings

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Caption: "Job Counseling" Dogbert sits at his desk, tail wagging. A moron stands on the other side. Dogbert says, "We'll need to disguise the fact that you're a moron." Dogbert says, "Ironically, the best way is to become an expert in something called "knowledge management." The moron's hair, shirt and tie are messy. The moron's eyes are vacant. The moron sits in a metting next to the Boss. The moron says, "We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings." The Boss thinks, "Smart."