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View 11 - 20 results for know comic strips. Discover the best "Know" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need to know, #basis, #complete list, #run for it, #volcano erupting

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Dilbert sits on the couch surrounded by pillows drinking from a can. Dogbert stands on the arm of the couch and says, "I'm putting you on a 'need to know' basis." Dogbert holds out a piece of paper and says "Here's a complete list of things I need to know. if it's not on the list, I probably don't need to hear it." Dilbert reads from the list, "Number One: 'Run for it Dogbert! The volcano is erupting!'" Dogbert says, "Plurals will also be allowed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mutual fund, #investors, #know alternatives, #huge market, #invest, #index fund, #wag hard

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Dilbert sits on the couch. Dogbert says, "I'm starting a mutual fund for investors who aren't bright enough to know their alternatives." Dogbert says, "It must be a huge market. Otherwise most people would invest in index funds." Dilbert asks, "What's an index fund?" Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Ouch, ouch!! You're making me wag too hard!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #doesn't know, #being insulted, #with all due respect, #intangible benefits, #insulting, #monkey face

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I discoverd that our pointy-haired boss doesn't know he's being insulted if you say, 'With all due respect' first." Wally thinks, "I love the intangible benefits of this job." The Boss is leaving his office. Wally says to him, "With all due respect, is that your face or is a monkey climbing down your shirt headfirst?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #Promotion, #dont know, #hired a strsnger, #out side of company, #the boss, #obstructs progress

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The Boss and Alice sitting at table. The Boss says, "Alice, I checked with the other managers; they don't know you well enough to promote you." The Boss continues, "So we've decided to hire someone from outside the company." Alice is stunned. As Alice exits the room, she says, "At least the other managers have heard my name now." The Boss replies, "I didn't use your real name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #don't know cobol, #elbonia, #imaginary keyboard, #no computers, #teach cobol

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Caption: Somewhere in Elbonia. Dilbert stands waist high in snow holding his briefcase. Two Elbonians in big hats and long beards stand across from him. Dilbert says, "I've been sent to teach you cobol." Elbonian man says, "We don't have any computers." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I don't know cobol." Dilbert and the two Elbonians pretend to type on imaginary keyboards. Dilbert says, "...And if you had a keyboard, you would od this." Elbonian says, "Oops.. how do I delete?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #know every tragedy, #future, #spilled hot coffee, #crotch, #happen in the future

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At home, the future Dilbert tells Dilbert: "I know every tragedy that will happen in your future." The future Dilbert suddenly screams: "Here it comes!!!" Watching Dilbert through the window running around in pain outside, the future Dilbert thinks: "I'll never forget the day I spilled hot coffee on my crotch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fake disability leave, #missed camaraderie, #stimulating conversation, #didn't know gone, #not missed

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With Dilbert's back turned facing his computer, Wally says "I came back early from my fake disability leave." Wally continues, "I missed the camaraderie and the stimulating conversation." Dilbert replies without turning to face Wally, "I didn't know you were gone." Wally replies, "Not bad for a Tuesday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self paced, #online training, #sharpen my saw, #subject, #don't know subject, #confusing

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit together at a table. Wally says to the Boss, "I've been taking a self-paced online training course to sharpen my saw". The Boss replies, "What's the subject?" Wally answers, "I don't know." Frustrated with Wally's response, the Boss throws both arms in the air and yells, "How could you not know?" Wally answers, "What part of self-paced is confusing you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pay slip, #increased complexity, #won't know, #rip off, #clueless, #in the dark, #happy to be evil, #cheat, #evil catbert

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Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "We increased the complexity of your pay slip." Catbert yells, "Now you'll never know when we rip you off! Yeeha! Yeeha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "The only part that really bugs me is the yeehas."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #rude or shy, #rudy, #shilo, #don't know name, #boss introductions, #no one knows, #name him

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The boss is standing with a worker and says to Dilbert, "Here's the new guy. I don't know his name." The boss continues, "He's either rude or shy. No one knows for sure." The boss says, "If you figure it out, name hime either Shilo or Rudy."