Knowing When To Quit Comic Strips - Page 2
147 Results for Knowing When To Quit
View 11 - 20 results for knowing when to quit comic strips. Discover the best "Knowing When To Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 22, 1996's comic on:
Wally sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "Wally, it might not seem fair that new employees are paid more than you . . ." Catbert continues, "But you could always quit and then reapply for your old job at a higher salary." Wally says angrily, "I just might do that!!" Catbert says, "Would you mind rubbing this catnip all over your body first?"
Share August 16, 1996's comic on:
Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and Dogbert sits on the desk. Dogbert says, "The company won't lay you off if enough people quit first." Dogbert continues, "Your best strategy is to convince your co-workers that their jobs are intolerable." Wally shines a flashlight on Asok and points a video camera at him. Wally says, "We do this for all the young employees, Asok. I'll capture the exact moment that your life force leaves your body."
Share November 22, 1996's comic on:
Alice asks Wally, "How do you like your new smoking habit?" Wally replies, "My teeth turned yellow, my breath is putrid, I'm a social outcast, I'm going broke, and my house burned down." Alice asks, "So you're going to quit?" Wally replies, "No, I'm trying to take a long term view of it."
Share January 30, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert walks into the conference room for a staff meeting. He thinks, "Maybe I should quit and work for myself from home." Dilbert sits down at the table and thinks, "I would miss all the human contact." Dilbert thinks, "Same as now." The Boss walks in and says, "I'm testing my e-mail. Did you get the 'e' I sent?"
Share May 25, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert sitting on couch while holding "TECH" magazine. Dogbert stands on arm of couch and thinks, "I will now test my theory that people like to be told what to do." Dogbert yells, "QUIT YOUR JOB AND BUILD ME A PYRAMID, YOU HOMELY DOLT!!!" Dilbert responds, "I liked it until the dolt part." Dogbert says, "I've noticed that honesty doesn't mix well with anything."
Share September 02, 1998's comic on:
The Boss says, "We can only succeed if each of us works nights and weekends for a year!" Dilbert says, "I quit." Wally says, "I'll clear out my desk." Alice says, "Me too." Dilbert says, "Or was that supossed to inspire us?" Wally says, "Like I'd know."
Share October 08, 1998's comic on:
The Boss has his hand on Donald's shoulder. Donald shirt is untucked and his tie is askew. The boss says, "It's not my policy to fire morons, Donald. Firing is expensive." The boss says, "It's my policy to make your job so unpleasant that you quit." Dilbert says, "So, your project involves being bitten by coyotes?" Donald is covered by small coyotes. Donald says, "Only two more years and I'm vested."
Share August 21, 1994's comic on:
The boss: Your proposal doesn't address the alternatives. Dilbert: There aren't any reasonable alternatives. The boss: There are always alternatives! Give me alternatives!! No wonder nothing gets done around here - not enough alternatives. typing: "we could lobby the government to give tax breaks to all idiot run businesses" "I could quit this stupid job and start a new career handing out towels at the gym" "Or we could use cow chips instead of microchips and save millions" The Boss: whats a cow chip? Dilbert: This job would be an example.
Share May 25, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert wears a bathroom and carries a briefcase. Dilbert walks by the boss. The boss thinks, "A bathrobe! This can only mean he found out how much market power an engineer has." The boss says, "I'll give you a 30% raise if you don't quit!!" Dilbert says, "Um.. okay." A women with several piercings says, "Take me, you terry-cloth rebel."
Share December 07, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert, the boss and a male employee are sitting at a table. The employee who has a lap-top in front of him says: "You're all idiots. I quit!" The male employee is typing on his lap-top and says: "There ... I found a higher paying job two miles away. Adios, suckers." A female employee standing between Dilbert and the boss says: "I'm the new web designer. I hear you're idiots. Where's the ethernet jack?"