Large Image Files Comic Strips - Page 2
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151 Results for Large Image Files
View 11 - 20 results for large image files comic strips. Discover the best "Large Image Files" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 12,
1994
Tags #key boards replaced, #motion sensing, #computer screen, #3d image, #technical professionals, #engineer, #moron, #engineering
Transcript
"Dogbert the Futurist" Dogbert: "Someday, keyboards will be replaced by motion-sensing rings on your fingers..." "The computer screen will be projected into your glasses as a 3-D image." - These developments will not enhance the image of technical professionals." Dilbert: "Are you an engineer?" Moron: "I'm a moron. Common mistake."
Monday January 30,
1995
Tags #laptop in case, #anything lighter, #delete files, #technically
Transcript
The Boss carries a laptop in a case. He says to Wally, "This laptop computer weighs too much. Do we have anything lighter?" Wally asks, "Why don't you just delete files to lower the weight on that one?" As he works on the laptop the Boss says, "That's a thought." Wally says, "Technically, I only asked why not."
Friday March 31,
1995
Tags #bad mouthing, #last guy, #slimy, #brain, #files, #fleas skull, #alice, #Wally
Transcript
Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. Alice says, "I'd like to kick-off the project with the traditional bad-mouthing of the guy who worked on this before." Alice yells, "He's so slimy that slugs pour salt on HIM. His brain would rattle in a flea's skull!" Alice turns to Wally and says, "Oh, and I'll need your files." Wally answers angrily, "Fleas don't have 'skulls!!'"
Sunday May 20,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #doc, #doctor, #redundant, #organs, #kidneys, #large, #intestines, #advantage, #pancreas, #patients, #relax
Transcript
Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. Dilbert asks the doctor, "How's it look, Doc?" The doctor examines an X-ray and says, "You came just in time." The physician explains, "I'm way behind in my alimony payments. I'll have to do some unnecessary surgery on you." The doctor continues, "You have a fair number of redundant organs." The doctor continues, "Two lungs . . . Two kidneys . . . Large AND small intestines . . ." Dilbert looks scared. The doctor says, "And I'm sure you aren't taking full advantage of your pancreas." Dilbert faints. The doctor looks at the reader and says, "I find that humor helps my patients relax."
Sunday June 09,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #working, #encyclopedia, #sell, #large, #profits, #write, #yourself, #abridge, #pages, #condensed, #history, #knowledge
Transcript
Dogbert sits at the desk typing. Dilbert asks, "What are you working on?" Dogbert replies, "I'm writing my own encyclopedia to sell for large profits." Dilbert asks, "How could you write an entire encyclopedia by yourself?" Dogbert replies, "It's abridged. I had to cut some corners to get it all in five pages." Dilbert says, "Five pages?! You condensed the history and knowledge of the world into five pages?!!" Dogbert replies, "Actually, it's mostly about me . . . The other stuff didn't seem important." Dogbert continues, "But I threw in some stuff about Canada to make it seem thorough." Dilbert reads, "'Canada has trees.'" Dogbert says, "I'll have to tighten that section a bit."
Friday June 21,
1996
Tags #buns of steel, #hardness, #large magnets, #not weight, #video, #ad campaign, #work, #gym, #butt work
Transcript
Dilbert and Liz walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I was going to get the 'Buns of Steel' video but I'm making excellent progress without it." Liz says, "When they say steel, it refers to hardness, not weight." Dilbert says, "I KNEW it seemed too easy." Liz says, "Stay away from large magnets."
Saturday September 27,
1997
Tags #internet community, #sarcastic suggestion, #email campaign, #improve image, #mass unsolicited, #tell people, #how nice we are
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss walks up behind him and says, "We have to improve our image in the Internet community." Dilbert says, "Let's do a mass unsolicited e-mail campaign to tell people how nice we are." Dilbert comes home and looks very angry. Dogbert says, "You have the look of a man who was just put in charge of implementing his own sarcastic suggestion."
Friday December 05,
1997
Tags #write resume, #large fee, #Dogbert, #having trouble, #invented coffee, #patent
Transcript
Phil, former ruller of Heck, now head of the Analogy Police, says to Dogbert, "Can you help me write a resume?" Dogbert obliges, "Yes, for a large fee." Phil says, "How do I know you're qualified." Dogbert says, "Check my resume." Phil says, "I have a hard time believing you invented coffee." Dogbert rebutts, "Check my patent."
Sunday January 30,
1994
Tags #large dart, #preservation, #spotted chipmunk, #tranquilize male, #write newsletter, #dead chipmunk, #jokes
Transcript
Dilbert: I joined the spotted chipmunk preservation society. We're going to tranquilize the last known male and unite it with a female. Wally: There he is! POW! THUNK! Wally: When you think about it, thats an awfully large dart to use on a chipmunk. woman: Its Dilberts turn to write the newsletter. Dogbert: Trust me, Humor is the way to go, It eases tension. Dilbert: Yeah, but the whole issue of dead chipmunk jokes?
Tuesday December 15,
1998
Tags #power of cute ears, #abuse banking industry, #Dogbert, #large withdrawl, #other peoples accounts
Transcript
Dogbert has his ears up and walks down the street. Dogbert thinks, "I will now use my power of cute ears to abuse the banking industry." Dogbert stands in front of a bank teller. Dogbert says, "I'd like to make a large withdrawal from other peoples' accounts." Dogbert drags a huge bag of money down the street. Dogbert thinks, "It was funny when I made her count it twice."