Last Half Comic Strips - Page 2
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471 Results for Last Half
View 11 - 20 results for last half comic strips. Discover the best "Last Half" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 20,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #assignment, #last, #ridiculous, #spontaneously, #channeling, #spirit, #bozo
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Uh . . . Dilbert, about that assignment I gave you last month . . ." The Boss continues, "Remember how you thought it was a silly and ridiculous assignment?" Dilbert says, "Yeah?" The Boss replies, "Well, it turns out that I've been spontaneously channeling the spirit of Bozo the Clown." The Boss is suddenly wearing a clown nose and costume.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday June 30,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #snow, #mountain, #jet, #captain, #bob, #fly, #luck, #survive, #eat, #cannibal, #last
Transcript
Dilbert, Dogbert and several other passengers stand in waist-deep snow. Dilbert says, "We're alive . . . We must have been thrown clear when the jet hit the mountain." The airplane captain says to Dilbert, "I'm Captain Bob. Sorry about the crash. What are the odds I'd hit this same mountain on every flight?" As Bob walks away Dilbert says, "We're in luck. Captain Bob knows how to survive these situations." Bob thinks, "Nice folks. I'll eat them last."
Monday March 14,
1994
Tags #projects floundering, #bold strategy, #reorganize, #department, #last month, #bold
Transcript
The Boss: All of our projects are floundering. I decided on a bold new strategy. Dilbert: Let me guess You're going to randomly reorganize the department.... Dilbert: Just like last month. The Boss: you have to admit thats bold.
Friday April 08,
1994
Tags #lottery tickets, #sale, #value, #yesterdays lottery, #half priced lottery, #cheat, #scam, #Dogbert, #salesman, #scammer, #office dog, #customer
Transcript
"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?
Thursday April 28,
1994
Tags #top priority, #last month, #dated
Transcript
The Boss: Take care of this immediately. It's your top priority. Dilbert: Top Priority?? This is dated last month, Its been on your desk for weeks and now its your top priority?? The Boss: I said its your top priority. I still don't care about it, Dilbert: well...okay the,
Saturday July 16,
1994
Tags #dimly lit cucbicle, #carpal tunnel, #crippled, #last job, #coal miner, #gas explosion, #new cubcile, #canary
Transcript
"I guess it's time to go back to my dimly lit cubicle and see if my carpal tunnel has crippled me yet." "This is a lot like my last job as a coal miner, but without the threat of a gas explosion." "I'm moving you to a new cubicle over by Wally." "Better get a canary."
Wednesday October 05,
1994
Tags #benefits, #define reality, #half the cost, #keep objectives, #rewrite business case, #cut funding
Transcript
The Boss: I decided to cut your project funding in half but keep the objectives the same. Its a brilliant plan, We get all the benefits at half the costs! Dilbert: Why is it that the nuttiest people define reality? The boss: and why couldn't I rewrite the business case to increase revenue?
Monday December 26,
1994
Tags #design interface, #got out, #hired professional, #international terrorist, #last week, #went to yale, #new employee, #talks with dilbert
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a professional to help us design our product interface." The Boss continues, "His last job was as an international terrorist. It's not a perfect fit but he went to Yale." Dilbert sits at a table and says to the man sitting with him, "So, I hear you went to Yale, Sven." Sven answers, "I yust got out last week."
Wednesday February 15,
1995
Tags #same meail, #last week, #best of wally, #cube sabbaticle, #first notice
Transcript
Dilbert peers over the cubicle wall and says, "Wally, you just sent me the same e-mail you sent last week." Wally says, "I'm rerunning the 'Best of Wally' while I'm on in-cube sabbatical." Dilbert asks, "How long is your sabbatical?" Wally replies, "Six months so far, and you're the first to notice."
Monday May 15,
1995
Tags #sign, #business case, #web server, #crosses all deaportments, #every director, #evp, #ted griffin, #half eagle, #half lion
Transcript
Dilbert asks the Boss, "Who needs to sign my business case to buy a web server?" The Boss says, "Hmm . . . This crosses all departments. I fear it. Get the approval of every director, every VP, every EVP, plus Griffin." As Dilbert walks away he asks, "Do you mean Ted Griffin in finance or the mythical griffin beast that's half eagle, half lion?" The Boss answers, "Whichever is harder."