Search Results for "letter"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bob, #budget analyst, #delegate, #dinosaur, #engineers, #find dumber customers, #letter, #marketing genius, #new vp, #senior mangement, #wedgies

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the dinosaur; gives wedgies to corporate people who deserve it. Budget analyst I don't understand any of our projects, I cut the ones with "E" In their names. BOB: What was that letter? analysts: EEEE! Engineers Wally: we doubled our costs, to add back up systems. Dilbert: You ant be too careful. Bob: two at once. In case one enjoys it. Wally: MMMM Marketing genius Market segmentation is the key. Dont improve the product just find dumber customers! Senior management BOB: These guys know how to delegate! You're the new VP of wedgies.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2000's comic on:


Tags #expletive, #fourth letter, #myers briggs test, #phb, #nasty

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is standing on top of the boss's desk holding a sheet of paper and he says to the boss: "I have the results of your Myers-Briggs personality test." Catbert reads from the sheet of paper: "You've been classified as a "PHB"." Catbert says: "There's a fourth letter, but that was for an expletive."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #junk mail, #smiling list, #letter of validation, #existence, #clean win

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is holding his letter up to the light. Dilbert says, "I've never seen anyone get this excited over a piece of junk mail." Wally responds, "I've never been on a mailing list before. This letter is a validation of my existence." Dilbert says, "It's not addressed to you." Wally replies, "I'll grant you that it's not a clean win."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bulk mail, #first item, #junk mail, #morale skyrocketed, #remained unopned, #wm1, #walls letter, #only mail

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to The Boss and Dilbert, "My morale sky-rocketed when I received my first-ever item of bulk mail." Wally continues, "I have designated it 'WM1' for 'Wally's Mail One' and it shall remain forever unopened. The Boss says, "Bulk mail is the same as junk mail." Wally says to the letter, "Don't listen to his lies, WM1."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #scathing letter, #coulmnist, #dongle, #vebal superiority, #feel alive, #dear nutbag

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I just fired off a scathing letter to a columnist for misusing the word "dongle". Im intoxicated with the feeling of verbal superiority. My sad life has meaning , I feel alive! The columnist: Dear Nutbag, Thanks for the input, Heres a link yo a dictionary, I await your apology

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #fired, #pink slip, #cleaned out desk, #hold box, #letter of reference, #loser sign, #angry, #grit teeth, #tease

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I cleaned out my desk. Would you be willing to give me a letter of reference?" The Boss says, "How about the letter 'L'? That seems about right?" Man thinks, "Must? not? burn... bridges." The Boss says, "Too soon?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #arrange demo, #gave demo, #letter of intent, #potential customer, #slap yourself, #won't succeed, #40 million

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Would it be okay if I talked to a potential customer?" The Boss says, "No. You're not in sales. I need you to focus on your project." Dilbert says, "I already talked to them. Is it okay if I arrange a demo?" The Boss says, "No. Only the sales teams arrange demos." Dilbert says, "I already gave the demo." Dilbert says, "Is it okay if I convince them to buy $40 million of our product?" The Boss says, "No, because you won't succeed." Dilbert says, "Here's their letter of intent." The Boss says, "You shouldn't slap yourself now." Dilbert says, "Yes I... wait. Nice try."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #socialize, #getting buy in, #dialoging for feedback, #building consensus, #temperature check, #straw man, #inoculate stakeholders, #letter from sa

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "You need to socialize your idea with the rest of the department." Dilbert replies, "Socialize? Is that the same as getting buy-in?" The Boss answers, "It's one step below buy-in. It's more like dialoging for feedback." Dilbert says, "Wait...I thought that building consensus was one step below buy- in." The Boss responds, "Just run it up a flagpole and see who salutes." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be better to do a temperature check using a straw man?" The Boss answers, "Maybe... But is that going to inoculate the stakeholders?" A letter from Scott Adams reads, "Dear Reader, If you or anyone you love understands the preceding conversation, you have my deepest sympathy." Signed, "S.A."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #new ustomer, #sign it, #write it, #valable time, #trapped in endless loop, #criticized, #start over, #write letter yourslef

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, I want you to write a letter to our new customer." Dilbert follows The Boss down the hall. The Boss continues, "I'll tell you what to say, then you'll go write it and I'll sign it." The Boss sits at his desk and continues, "This way I won't waste my valuable executive time." He pauses and then continues, "It's efficient." Dilbert responds, "Yes, that's one possible outcome." He pauses and then continues, "Here's another." Dilbert continues, "You'll keep forgetting to mention important things that should be in the letter." Dilbert continues, "I'll be trapped in an endless loop of writing, tracking you down, getting criticized and starting over." Dilbert continues, "Or you could simply write the letter yourself and save us both a huge hassle." The Boss responds, "In paragraph one, say something like 'Hi.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #embarrassment, #news letter, #leadership, #sound stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!