Lonely Religion Comic Strips - Page 2
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View 11 - 20 results for lonely religion comic strips. Discover the best "Lonely Religion" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert is holding a mug and walking behind Asok. Dilbert says to Asok: "I heard your project got cancelled." Asok stops and says: "What?" Asok screams and shakes his hands in the air in front of Dilbert: "No! No! Why me? I'll never love again!!" Asok's hair is standing up and he is grabbing his tie with wild eyes. Asok says to Dilbert: "I renounce my religion." Dilbert says: "Ouch."
The Boss says, "I need you to go to Elbonia and do some hand-holding while they cut over to the new system." Dilbert says, "Because they?re incompitent?" The boss says, "And lonely." Dilbert says, "I'm not comfortable with this." Elbonian says, "Mud wine?"
CEO: Being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert: Try being less of a #!@*. Then people might want to spend time with you. CEO: I don't see how that could work. Dilbert: Can we get back to manipulating my emotions for financial gain?
FBI Secret Facility. Asok: I am a nonviolent Hindu. You use violence as a tool, and your religion is centered around one of Islam's prophets. So... technically, you're closer to being a radical Islamic terrorist than I am. Agent: I hate engineers.
dilbert at home. dilbert: it's not personal, but sometimes i just need alone time. dogbert: how could i possibly be offended by your preference for the dark despair of loneliness over spending time with me? dilbert putting on headphones: i won't be lonely. dogbert: i hate you too!
dilbert on video call. dilbert: has anyone herd from our ceo since the pandemic started? voices from the laptop: maybe the virus got him. no. not me. next frame has ceo thinking in another location: well, it looks like another lonely day of looking for the zoom button.
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "While you were wasting your time at work I came up with a million dollar idea." Dogbert shows Dilbert a bottle with a doll on the top. Dogbert says, "It's the 'Madonna Sun Tan Lotion Applicator' for lonely guys!!" Dilbert says, "I'll take one." Dogbert says, "It looks like Barbie on a stick, but it's Madonna."
Andy: Androids want to be like humans. Tell me what humans do. Dilbert: Mostly, they eat, sleep, and hope they don't die. Andy: That's it? Dilbert: Unless they find religion... Then they eat, sleep, and look forward to dying.
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've solved an ancient puzzle." Dogbert continues, "I figured out how many angels can dance on the head of a pin!" Dogbert walks away thinking, "I don't care what he thinks . . . The answer is six."
Dogbert sits on a cliff with a wise man. The wise man says, "The secrets of the universe will be revealed if you meditate." Dogbert asks, "Can't you just tell me the secrets?" The sage replies, "To meditate you must clear your mind of all thoughts." Dogbert asks, "If I have no thoughts how will I know if I'm meditating?" Dogbert continues, "And how do I come out of it? I won't be able to think about stopping." Dogbert continues, "And shouldn't stupid people be the best meditators of all?" The wise man says, "Perhaps you are not ready." Dogbert replies, "Perhaps you should spend more time with some thoughts."