Loser Magazine Comic Strips - Page 2

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96 Results for Loser Magazine

View 11 - 20 results for loser magazine comic strips. Discover the best "Loser Magazine" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dial number, #known idiots, #loser, #donosaur, #rat, #telemarketers, #idiots to call, #calling people, #phone tings

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Bob the dinosaur sits at a conference table with Ratbert and Dogbert.There are telephones on the table. Dogbert says, "You two will be my telemarketers. Here's a list of known idiots to call." Ratbert takes the list and picks up the phone. "I'll go first, Bob. Let's see... I dial the number and wait for an idiot to answer..." Bob's phone rings while he stares at it. Oblivious, Ratbert says, "C'mon, you loser, pick up the phone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dogbert research co>, #focus group, #carefully screened, #loser choices, #opposite, #what recommended, #skipped jury duty, #liver transplant

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Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "You've all been carefully screened for this focus group." Dogbert continues, "Each of you has a pattern of making "Loser Choices." I'll tell my clients to do the opposite of whatever you recommend." One man says, "Fun! I'm glad I skipped jury duty to be here." THe woman next to him says, "I rescheduled my liver transplant!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #digital, #dating, #service, #loser, #velveeta, #digitize, #picture, #hair, #nose, #tan, #photoshop

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Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says "Dogbert's Digital Dating Service." A man enters and says, "I'm a loser. Sign me up." Dogbert aims a camera at the man and says, "Say 'Velveeta.'" The man smiles. Dogbert sits at a computer and says, "Now we digitize your picture for the database." Dogbert says, "I could add some digital hair." The man replies, "Good idea." Dogbert says, "Maybe I should bob your nose and give you a tan." The man says, "That's fair." Dogbert asks, "Whiten teeth? Smooth wrinkles? Hide stomach? Thicken lips?" The man replies, "Yes" to all of his questions. The man looks at the final photo and says, "I look like Sandra Bernhard." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, but you have to admit it improves your odds."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #moon, #nasa hides women, #love male engineers, #drinking contest, #loser, #never return, #entering contest

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Caption: Somewhere on the moon. The engineers and Dilbert are in a standoff. Engineer 1 says, "So, you discovered where NASA hides the women who love male engineers." Engineer 1 says, "How about a little drinking contest, tough guy? The loser can nver return." The three engineer loving women lie slumped on the surface of the moon surrounded by empty alcohol bottles. Woman 1 says "We probably shouldn't have insisted on entering the contest." Woman 2 says, "I'll miss them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #quick phone call, #make small talk, #brought a magazine, #alice, #panty hose

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At the staff meeting, The Boss pokes his head in and says, "I have to make a quick phone call." Dilbert says, "Do you want to make small talk?" Wally says, "No." Wally says, "I brought a magazine." Dilbert asks,"Could you tear out a few pages for me to read?" Wally says, "That wouldn't be right." Dilbert says, "Give me some pages or else I'll ask Alice about panty hose." Dilbert says, "You wouldn't dare." Dilbert says, "So, Alice, what do you think about the concept of panty hose?" Alice screams, "Aaargh!! What moron invented leg covers that can be destroyed by touching a twig?!" Wally tears some pages out from his magazine and offers them to Dilbert saying, "Make it stop!" Dilbert says, "Too late." Alice puts her legs up on the table and says, "Look at this!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #executives, #strategic planning, #sessions, #inadequate data, #knowledge attained, #reorganize, #tried, #magazine

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The boss meets with Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, "Our executives have started their annual strategic planning sessions." The boss says, "This involves sitting in a room with inadequate data until an illusion of knowledge is attained." The boss says, "Then we'll reorganize. because that's all we know how to do!" Wally says, "Have you tried it with a magazine?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #queue, #loser, #speak to superior, #religious debate, #question

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A man sits in front of his computer and talks on the phone. He says, "Finally! I've been in the tech support queue for an hour!" Dogbert says, "Loser." The man says, "Can I speak to your superior?" Dogbert says, "There's some religious debate on that question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #didn't listen, #good work, #magazine, #more assignments, #new boss, #boss, #secretary

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Carol hands a sheet of paper to Alice who is at her computer and says: "When you finish this, I have more assignments for you." Alice says to Carol: "Carol, you're the boss's secretary, not my boss. And this is a page from a magazine." Carol says to Alice: "Keep up the good work." Alice answers surprised: "You didn't listen. That can only mean you're the new boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #believe loser, #implied, #picking stock, #stock tip

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Wally asks Alice, "Do you want a good stock tip?" Alice says, "Are you asking me to believe you're a loser at every aspect of life except picking stock?" Wally and Dilbert are having lunch. Wally says, "That's not what I'm asking." Dilbert says, "It's implied."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #free for lunch, #remind myself, #lucky, #laziness, #personality, #looks, #renaissance loser, #psychology

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Wally is reading the newspaper as Dilbert looks in Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, are you free for lunch?" Dilbert says to Wally, "I need to remind myself how lucky I am that I don't have your laziness or personality or looks." Wally asks Dilbert, "Would you say I'm kind of a Renaissance loser?"