Lower Blood Pressure Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

140 Results for Lower Blood Pressure

View 11 - 20 results for lower blood pressure comic strips. Discover the best "Lower Blood Pressure" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #engineering, #careers, #cubicle, #restroom, #lower, #electromagnetic fields, #office, #equipment, #killing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dignity, #creativity, #precious earth, #blood drive, #three pint minimum

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "This job has taken my dignity, my self-esteem, my creativity and my precious time on this earth." The man continues, "You've taken all I have! There's nothing left to give!!!" The Boss says, "The blood drive is next week. This year it's mandatory . . . And a three-pint minimum."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #donate blood, #good for society, #too comepetetive, #thirsty

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and a man stand in line at the blood drive. The man says, "I don't mind donating blood . . . It's good for society . . ." The man continues, "But I'm worried that our company is getting too competitive about how much we give compared to other companies." Dilbert leaves the blood drive saying, "Man, I'm thirsty!!" His head and body have shrunk to half their normal size.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paper burning stove, #lower heating bills, #useless documents, #love your work, #warm feeling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert installs a stove while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "I'm installing a paper-burning stove to lower our heating bills." Dilbert says, "I'll fuel it with all the useless documents I get at work." At the office, the Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of papers and asks, "I've been noticing how much stuff you take home. You must love your work." Dilbert replies, "It gives me a warm feeling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jet pilot experimce, #ow hard, #money, #pretty boy, #experience, #corporate jet, #budget pressure, #pilot eject seat

View Transcript

Transcript

A man reads Dogbert's resume and asks him, "Your resume doesn't list any experience as a jet pilot, Mister Dogbert." Dogbert says, "How hard could it be?" Dogbert continues, "You could spend a lot of money on some pretty boy pilot with experience, or you can save a few bucks and have ME drive the corporate jet." The man says, "I AM under a lot of budget pressure . . . And I'm not allowed on the jet myself . . ." Dogbert asks, "It has a pilot eject seat, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #undefined acronyms, #lower opinion, #communication skills, #complex pictures

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands beside an overhead projector. He says, "This next transparency is an incomprehensible jumble of complexity and undefined acronyms." Dilbert continues, "You might wonder why I'm going to show it to you since the only possible result is to lower your opinion of my communication skills." Dilbert points at the diagrams and says, "Frankly, it's because I like making complex pictures more than I like you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bizarre, #dream, #cheerleading, #outfit, #glue, #miniature, #horses, #married, #pressure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sees a woman and thinks, "Oh no, it's Helena. I had a bizarre dream about her last night." Helena says, "Hi, Dilbert." Dilbert thinks, "I'm always afraid that somehow people know when they've been in my dream." Helena says, "Gee . . . Seeing you reminds me of something . . . But I can't quite put my finger on it . . ." Helena continues, "Hmm . . . It was something bizarre." Dilbert thinks, "She knows." Beads of sweat fly off his forehead. Dilbert covers his eyes and cries, "Stop it! Stop it! I'm sorry I made you wear a cheerleading outfit and glue miniature horses to the couch!!" Dilbert says, "There - it's out. The pressure is lifted . . . I can live again . . ." Helena says, "Oh, now I remember -- I was wondering why you've never been married. But now I understand."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demo, #ne wpordcut, #vp next week, #delay, #ship date, #lower morale, #create unending demand, #unproductive demos, #doing valuable work, #quality, #banner

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Could you do a demo of the new product for our VP next week?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . That would delay the ship date, lower morale and create an unending demand for more unproductive demos . . ." Dilbert continues, "Logically, since your objective is to show that we're doing valuable work . . ." The Boss interrupts, "And we'll need a banner that says 'Quality.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally compensation, #equalibrium, #project, #lower quality, #consistent, #salary, #first month, #after raises, #achieved equilibrium, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "This week I kicked off the 'Wally Compensation Equilibrium Project.'" Wally continues, "My goal is to lower the quality of my work until it is consistent with my salary." The Boss thinks, "I hate the first month after they see their raises." Wally says, "I'd go on, but I just achieved equilibrium."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blood suckers, #coworkers, #famous novelist, #lowly tech writer, #scathing email messages, #write a book, #write witty, #dogcart career counselor

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina the Tech Writer sits at a table with Dogbert. Tina says, "I'm a lowly technical writer now, but my goal is to become a famous novelist." Tina continues, "My plan is to write witty and scathing e-mail messages about co-workers until a publisher gives me an advance." Dogbert says, "They might expect you to write a book at some point." Tina yells, "Blood suckers!"